Stupid Tuesday Questions, frankfurter edition

Back when I lived in New York, my friends and I would amuse ourselves with various silly games. Today’s Stupid Question hearkens back to one.

Once, we came upon some store that sold hot dogs, a la Papaya King or some such. This particular store was hawking its particular hot dogs by describing them as “crunchy.” While I think I know what they meant by that, “crunchy” seems the wrong word to use when trying to move frankfurters. My friends and I spent the rest of the afternoon intermittently suggesting other words that are best avoided when trying to advertise hot dogs.

So, today’s Stupid Question is this — what do you think is the worst possible word to use when trying to sell a hot dog? Some of the better entries I recall from before include “hirsute,” “truculent” and “tumescent.”

Russell Saunders

Russell Saunders is the ridiculously flimsy pseudonym of a pediatrician in New England. He has a husband, three sons, daughter, cat and dog, though not in that order. He enjoys reading, running and cooking. He can be contacted at blindeddoc using his Gmail account. Twitter types can follow him @russellsaunder1.

15 Comments

    • I believe that Angelina Jolie’s reps have secured rights to that word, such that it can now only be used in describing her lips.

  1. Pus-ridden was one of my favorites back in the day. Now I’d suggest gelatinous.

      • The glory of Stupid Tuesday Questions is that all answers have equal merit, given the stupidity of the question itself. Sure, it’s nice to read the question first, but there’s a kind of Dada charm to answering it sight-unseen

  2. Fleshy

    Engorged

    Porktacular

    Hoof-and-Snout-Parts-rrific (okay this one is cheating a little)

  3. “product” (or, even worse, “byproduct”.)

    “casing”

    “genuine”

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