Stupid Tuesday Questions, Rock-n-roll generation edition

Given the popularity of my last post about baby names, I thought I’d do another one.

If you spend enough time in a newborn nursery, you’ll get to see some real doozies when parents name their kids.  I’ve seen kids named after sports networks, for example.  But one name will always stand out in my memory.

Sadly, HIPAA prevents me from just blurting it out.  Forgive me for unavoidable obliqueness.  The parents of this child were big fans of classic rock, and wanted to reflect that love in the name of their child.  They therefore chose as her name the name of one of rock’s greatest groups, a legendary band of undeniable talent.

Unfortunately, the name they selected for their newborn little girl is also a synonym for “blimp.”  As I reflected at the time, let us pray that the gods are kind, and she ends up being a naturally thin child.

It was easily the worst name I have personally witnessed for a child.  And so, gentle readers, I give you this week’s Stupid Tuesday Question — what is the absolute worst rock band name to pick for a child?

Russell Saunders

Russell Saunders is the ridiculously flimsy pseudonym of a pediatrician in New England. He has a husband, three sons, daughter, cat and dog, though not in that order. He enjoys reading, running and cooking. He can be contacted at blindeddoc using his Gmail account. Twitter types can follow him @russellsaunder1.


  1. It was easily the worst name I have personally witnessed for a child

    And yet, they had a whole lotta love.

  2. Isn’t there a band called “Hole”? That’s a bad name.

  3. I’m sure the punk scene offers a near-inexhaustible supply of crass/gross names. I recall Woodpussy and Nine-Inch Males just off the top of my head as extremes.

    There was a very overweight girl in our high school with some developmental disabilities whose mother had named her Fatham, which was really the most unintentionally cruel name I’d ever seen.

    • Hrm. To create artificial limitations to theoretical stupid (his word, not mine) questions is to be human…

      So let’s get to limitation creation!

      Out of the bands that appeared at Woodstock, I’d say that “The Grease Band” gives the easiest joke but “Mountain” provides us with the name most likely to be an actual name given to a child by well-intentioned hippies.

  4. She could use the diminutive and be named after the best-looking (if least funny) Marx Brother. And he did fine, at least until Sinatra came into the picture.

  5. Probably the worst band name I’ve heard recently, but also sort of the best for that reason was a punk group called “Musicband”. It did make me laugh. They said that people either love it or hate it.

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