Rose Woodhouse

Elizabeth Picciuto was born and reared on Long Island, and, as was the custom for the time and place, got a PhD in philosophy. She freelances, mainly about disability, but once in a while about yeti. Mother to three children, one of whom is disabled, two of whom have brown eyes, three of whom are reasonable cute, you do not want to get her started talking about gardening.

41 Comments

  1. The important thing is that you dart in front of other people who had been waiting patiently.

    • Apparently. Where I shop, the norm is to take a few. Some people seem to be attempting to score a free lunch — people who don’t appear as if having enough money to buy food to eat is generally a problem.

      I thought it was understood that you should take one, and one for each kid is okay.

      • It’s awfully tough to get through Costco and not be plied with a metric buttload of samples. Some of that stuff is really good, too.

        • Oh, I think one of each product offered is totally fine! I’m talking 3 pieces of cheese, or whatever.

        • In my experience, you can get several hundred calories worth of food from samples in Costco on a weekend, if you’re willing to jockey for position with the kinds of people Rose impliedly complains about in the OP and Jaybird more explicitly complains about in the top comment. Cumulatively, this can be enough to be an entire meal for some folks. Bully for you if it is; if it isn’t, for crying out loud the churro only costs $1.50.

      • when I did have trouble getting enough food to eat, I was fine with taking samples… I don’t think i looked any different from your general “college age” kid. And I’ve known people on welfare that dressed to the nines (used to work as a maid, got free donated clothes).

    • Tod,

      Where I shop, the cheese department (or whatever you call it), usually has a table with at least two or three different kind of cheese samples. Would you say one of each kind of sample per person, or just one sample per person? (I feel strange taking, say, all three samples myself, but I imagine the idea is to hook people on as many types of cheese as possible.)

  2. I am with Tod on this, adding that with children, each can have one, unless they show no interest, at which point you cannot attempt to talk them into it.

    • unless they show no interest, at which point you take one “for the child”, round the next corner, and eat it yourself.

      Honestly, who are you people?

  3. One…no question about it…One.

    The better question is what do you do with the half a bite left of sample after you find out you really don’t like it. Throwing it away is the easy answer but what if there are no cans available.

    • Might I suggest doing what I do: sticking it in your jacket pocket and forgetting about it for two days, only to rediscover what has become a nightmare when the toothpick pokes you.

      • Oh well then the dilemma is whether its reasonable to try to return the jacket to the store you bought it.

  4. one.

    It’s only appropriate to take more if you’re taking them for others, and even then, only if:
    A) they are young children not old enough to get their own
    B) they have a disability preventing them from getting their own.
    C) you’re engaging in the social nicety of handing a sample to a present party who clearly wants one.

    Getting a sample for a fellow member of your shopping party who is elsewhere? Not allowed. Getting a sample for a child who isn’t interested in partaking? Not allowed. You can make them eat vegetables off their plate. Making them eat vegetables off their sample tray is inappropriate.

    If you are not shopping, or not accompanying one who is, also not allowed–unless you’re an employee of the store, in which case consult the store’s policies.

    If you’re a secret Cylon, then you may have samples. If you’ve been revealed as a Cylon, no samples for you.

    If your an imaginary friend, you may have samples if you’re an imaginary person. If you are an imaginary animal, it varies by state law.

    Under no circumstances may Ernest Jones of South Carolina, Age 43 have a sample. You know what you did.

    • At costco, it is perfectly acceptable to grab 3 samples for your party of 3, so long as the person with the cart stays the hell away from the sample counter. It makes everything more efficient.

      Note: this rule may vary if you’re likely to get the “are you under 12” question a lot… (Like I do)

  5. I take only enough to satisfy my hunger so that there’s no need to buy anything. I never take more than that — it’s a principle with me.

  6. I don’t trust supermarket people to prepare food. Zero is the correct answer.

  7. What a great post.
    As many as you need in order to make a decision on whether or not to buy some. If your kids’ opinions will influence your decision, then they may also have a sample.

  8. Related question: Is it right to take a free sample if you have no intention of ever buying the product. Sometimes in the cheese aisle (as I mentioned above), I’ll take a sample of very expensive cheese that I’ll never shell out the money for. Is that so wrong? Am I a reprobate?

    • If they’re making it available to you for free, then you can try one regardless of your intention to purchase. And if you are intending to buy from a selection of products, it’s OK to try one of each to help you make up your mind.

      • I’m with Dr. Saunders here. I don’t think it obligates you to be even thinking about buying one. ANd once in a long while, I have no intention of buying it, but it really does sway me.

    • Pierre, I have on occasion tried a sample of pricey cheese fully absolutely no intention of buying it and then after having tasted the tongue exploding awsomeness of the flavor bought two blocks. This is one of the signature purposes of free samples.

        • If that’s your dig, then it’s fine. If you “under no circumstances will buy that cheese I’ve got a budget dammit”, then you ought not to take.

  9. I say one for you, one for each child, one for anyone you’re with who wants one. I get that there’s some controversy if they’re not around, but my wife (to-be) is important in my decision-making process, so she needs to taste things if we’re possibly going to buy them.

    If there’s a whole array of things at one station (like four cheeses or dips or whatever), you can have two. It’s best to find a partner for these things so you can each try a couple and then compare notes.

    It is also acceptable to walk out of eyesight of the sample-giver, put on a hat or mustache, and return for a second sample.

  10. Is it acceptable to tell your kids “We’ll eat after we shop at Costco”, when your real plan is to get them so full on free samples that you won’t have to buy them lunch at all?

    • Yes, but only if you buy them the $2.00 pizza and split it three ways (200 calories a piece)

  11. As many as you can get away with (as long as your skin is thick enough). Just this Sunday, when I was at the supermarket, this lady was trying to get me to try some crackers. So she offered me the original flavour. Then she offered me the roasted almond and some other flavours as well. After offering me the whole range, she said that most people like the original flavour and offered me another sample of that just to be sure that I liked it. Of course, after that, I felt so guilty, I put a box in my cart…

  12. The joke is, of course, while people are feeling guilty about all this, the actual fact is all the samples in total probably cost less $1 even if you eat a bunch, which is less than then you cost the store by using the restroom there, and less than you cost in employee time ringing you up as you leave.

    In fact, the only reason anyone would care about you eating a bunch is because there’s only a certain amount out, and the employees have to go get more. (OTOH, as someone with cashier experience, often having a reason to leave your post and do something else, anything else, is seen as a _welcome_ change.)

  13. The thing that happens to me at Costco that raises my blood pressure isn’t others taking too many samples thing (though I can certainly see how someone might have that happen to them) but a bottleneck problem.

    The aisles at my Costco are wide enough for three carts to go down an aisle side-by-side-by-side. Excellent. This is how it should be.

    What infuriates me is the ability for two people with one cart to effectively block an entire aisle. You have to park your cart diagonally, step into the middle and other “lane” (if you will) in the aisle, and then go on to have a conversation about whether we really need 12 of the scrubby sponges. Oblivious to the cart standing there. And then the other carts piling up behind.

    I have visions of picking the cart up and throwing it spinning down the aisle as it spits out accumulated products like a water willy while I scream “EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME!”

    But there I stand. While they discuss the ideal number of scrubby sponges and, somehow, block an aisle wide enough for three carts to go down.

    • I’ve got a mouth. I’d speak up. Or cough (preferably in a contagious seeming way). Of course, I don’t go to a crowded Costco. And I go early, when the gabby folks aren’t out of bed.

    • “I have visions of picking the cart up and throwing it spinning down the aisle as it spits out accumulated products like a water willy while I scream “EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME!””

      I have visions of you turning into Jay-Hulk, only Jay-Hulk is just Jay, slightly red-faced and winded.

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