Fifty Shades Of Grey: The Family-Friendly Version

Anastasia Steele nervously waited to interview the mysterious gazillionaire Christian Grey. His office was elegantly decorated in a spare, ultra-modern fashion. His attractive receptionist showed Ana in.

Tall, younger than she had anticipated, and very handsome, Grey shook her hand and looked directly into her eyes with a penetrating and hypnotic gaze, wholly in command — yet Ana sensed vulnerability behind those strong eyes, too.

“I find you very, very attractive, Ms. Steele,” he said

Ana blushed, self-conscious of her own trivial physical imperfections and romantic inexperience. “Thank you, Mr. Grey.”

“Let’s dispense with the interview for your college newspaper, shall we?”

“I… Okay.”

Then they went on several dates in glamorous locations and had a passionate, fulfilling love affair. Grey was a powerful but ultimately tender lover who gave Ana everything.


Burt Likko

Pseudonymous Portlander. Homebrewer. Atheist. Recovering litigator. Recovering Republican. Recovering Catholic. Recovering divorcé. Recovering Former Editor-in-Chief of Ordinary Times. House Likko's Words: Scite Verum. Colite Iusticia. Vivere Con Gaudium.


  1. Looks like one of those CIA documents where all the good stuff has been expurgated.

  2. I think you’ve got enough material there to sell a series to Showtime.
    Three seasons.

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