Some celebrity moms think it’s a good idea to stop celebrating Mother’s Day. They would like to raise awareness of women who suffer serious health consequences and death during pregnancy. This seems a perfectly good cause for which to advocate and a perfectly ridiculous way to advocate it.
We know that mothers are on the minds of many Americans during this holiday, so it makes sense to engage them on this topic, but we also know that we are not alone and that there is a tremendous amount of noise around this holiday too. Our challenge was to find a way to get people to stop for a moment, or a day as we are suggesting, to reflect on the role of mothers rather than going through the motions as so many of us do. The “No Mothers Day” campaign, developed with New York based creative agency CHI&Partners, is a way to do something slightly different and, we hope, bring maternal mortality to the forefront of the national conversation.
The cornerstone of the campaign is a social issue film, directed by my husband, filmmaker Ed Burns, that features moms encouraging other moms to join in solidarity by disappearing on May 13th, Mother’s Day, because “our silence can speak the loudest for all mothers.” Of course, this silence alone is not meant to immediately save lives, but the curiosity that emerges as a result of the silence is meant to spark conversation and in turn knowledge and ultimately action. Through this demonstration of maternal solidarity, we want as many people as possible to know about these hundreds of thousands of girls and women around the world who die each year from complications related to pregnancy or childbirth so that more mothers are here to celebrate in years to come.
Emphasis mine. Now, I suppose it has started a conversation. So there’s that. “Awareness,” and all. I am suspicious that the expected chain of events will occur as stated and in a way that actually save people’s lives. But maybe it will result in a few donations to a charity that would not have otherwise occurred.
However, isn’t there something really odd about this? “[M]oms encouraging other moms to join in solidarity by disappearing on May 13th”? Disappearing? Huh? How does one disappear in solidarity? How does one focus on mothers by saying “I’m a mother, so don’t pay attention to me!” And does it not seem perhaps a luxury of the elite to say, “I will do without a day on which my family traditionally takes over some of my difficult responsibilities”? Mother’s Day may be a corporate creation, but I happen to think it’s a nice idea.
I feel like there’s another way they could have drawn attention to the cause that made more sense. And didn’t ask women to give up one day of breakfast in bed.
Rather than disappearing, which seems… weird to me, might not mothers who are interested in helping this particular cause simply eschew gifts, and direct loved ones to make donations to specified charities in lieu of them?
Can I donate to charity, and uneschew gifts?
But I’m already ignoring Columbus Day, Veterans Day, Flag Day, Secretary’s Day, Presidents Day and Kwanza! How much more can I be expected to not give? I’m only human.
Space awesome.
I assume this means you are celebrating Diwali.
“This seems a perfectly good cause for which to advocate and a perfectly ridiculous way to advocate it.”
I think that about covers it.
As soon as the “raise awareness” line comes out I flip on my kook filter.
It definitely belongs on the list of Jonah-Goldberg cliches.
I was thinking of doing a “raise awareness” post, actually.
You’re going to raise awareness of raising awareness? Sublime.
And there’s the title for the post!
Please do.
I dislike the phrase and the concept, because I hate going to political or advocacy meetings or presentations or lectures where you get to the end and ask what you can do and they’ve got no specifics (or just tell you to keep telling other people about it; or to give money). Okay, I’m aware and unhappy and don’t know of anything concrete I can do about this. How does that help people actually affected by [insert problem here]?
There is raising awareness, in the sense that people are not aware.
I mean, everybody has stuff to do. Most of what people have to do is stuff of marginal value to everyone, including themselves. Getting a couch potato to make phone calls once a month for their Local PTA or something by raising their awareness, that’s a win for everybody, including the couch potato.
Unfortunately, most people are around their activism level already (I, for one, will not give couch potatoes a hard time for choosing to be couch potatoes, I was one before and necessity more than proclivity prevents me from being one again). So “raising awareness”… instead of taking time from the aggregate pool of “inactivity” among the general populace and putting it towards some good… usually winds up taking time from the aggregate pool of “activity” and moving it towards some other instance.
Give up some of your time volunteering in the local library and help with the PTA. Give up some of your PTA hours and do a once-a-month caregiver respite session for your local neighborhood association. Give up some of your scout troop leading time and help with the volunteer sheriff’s department.
How does one disappear in solidarity?
Gin, probably.
Now that would be a breakfast in bed I’d love. Someone tell my kids.
.
I’ll get right on it.
Having a day to myself sounds more than delightful. I can’t imagine how Ms. Woodhouse has the time to oppose this. This? Really? if she used half of the energy of writing this silly column to actually help women who die in childbirth, there could be a baby or two out there whose mom was saved. Way to be a part of nothin, Ms. Woodhouse. I for one am willing to take myself to breakfast and forego a pedicure for this extremely worthy cause. Frankly, that is hardly a selfless act. We should all be doing much, much, much more.
I’m not entirely sure how the 10 minutes I spent writing this post could have been used to save a mom. I didn’t make any money during that time, and I don’t know anything about obstetrics.
I agree it’s a very worthy cause. I don’t see how forgoing a pedicure solves anything. If I did, I would be happy to forgo a pedicure. I do donate to several charities and fundraise for one in particular on a regular basis. But sometimes, I admit, I also get my toenails painted.
But sometimes, I admit, I also get my toenails painted.
You, madam, are history’s greatest monster.
Did Grendel’s mother get her toenails painted?
@Rose: “I’m not entirely sure how the 10 minutes I spent writing this post could have been used to save a mom.”
1. Rose gets up from her desk, stretches. (time elapsed: 1 minute)
2. Rose goes outside, passing by the admin gal’s desk, as the admin gal is weeping uncontrollably amid torn up photos of her newly ex-husband and several empty bottles of sleeping pills. (time elapsed: 3 minutes)
3. Rose sidesteps a female professor that is talking on her iPhone, not noticing that she is about to step onto the street as a bus is rapidly approaching. (time elapsed: 5 minutes)
4. As Rose passes the Chem/Physics building, she notices a ladder tipping, and sees that a woman from the physical plant is on top, washing the third story windows. She quickens her pace, so that when the ladder falls it does not hit her. (time elapsed: 7 minutes)
5. She walks into the student union, and sees an older student wearing a sorority t-shirt lying on the ground about to stick an unbent wire hanger into a light socket, and is careful when stepping over her not to trip. (time elapsed: 9 minutes)
6. As she passes the cafeteria, she sees a woman wearing a Baby Bjorn taking a sip of a diet cola. “Hey,” she says, “Don’t drink that. It’s filled with high fructose cron syrup. That stuff will kill you. Have a simple juice, or just a glass of water instead.” (time elapsed: 10 minutes)
You’re welcome.
I. Love. This.
We should all be doing much, much, much more.
For my part, I will buy some gin.
I can’t come up with a response that isn’t going to ultimately end up being egregiously offensive.
The real problem is… I’m not sure if this reflects more poorly on me or this “movement”.
Really? You don’t see how taking the $45 your husband might spend on a pedicure and giving it to an organziation that improved access to healthcare for pregnant women can help? I guess I cannot help you then. As someone who suffered hemorrhaging after giving birth to my 2nd born, I am grateful for my access to good medical services. So I will take a little money that would be used to treat me for mothers day and share it with another mother-to-be. You can fuss about it.
You seem to be missing the point, Beth, and have a strangely zero-sum attitude about it. One can question the effectiveness of an awareness-raising campaign such as the one described in the OP and still think the underlying issue deserves attention. Indeed, one actually can both get a pedicure and make a donation to Ms. Turlington Burns’ charity. (As it happens, I have a soft spot for Christy Turlington. A clinic where I used to work had lots of her anti-smoking posters around, and I found the ad where she talks about her father’s smoking-related death genuinely moving. Plus, I saw her in person once and that experience single-handedly destroyed any notion I might have had that models aren’t really beautiful.)
Russell, for two months I lived across the street from Elite modeling agency. I came to the same thoroughly depressing conclusion. They really are beautiful, even when they have no makeup on and old clothes.
A) She did not advocate simply giving money. She advocated disappearing, whatever that means. I think a call for donations to a charity in honor of mother’s day would be a lovely idea. Why can’t I donate and get breakfast in bed? As I said, I do donate to charity. What does the pedicure have to do with anything?
B) There is always more one could do. There is always something one could give up. Do you actually give everything you have until you live only at sustenance level? Even Peter Singer doesn’t do that. I’m not a utilitarian, so I don’t believe that to be morally good one most always only do the action that produces the most happiness. I do think it’s okay to just watch TV instead of spending all my time in a soup kitchen. As long as I give to charity a good amount (and I do),
C) In all probability, neither my second son nor I would have survived his birth and he definitely would have not survived its aftermath without modern medical care. I am very fond of modern medical care. Most (not all) of my money goes to children’s health related causes. To me, what we went through is all the more reason have a little celebration. Also, mothering is hard. When my kids try to do some of it, they get to value mothers in different way, too.
Remember “Hands Across America”?
http://youtu.be/WZorfXa5pBc
That was awesome.
Here’s what I think the goal of “Disappearing” is:
By “not being there” for Mother’s day, your family will better appreciate all you do for them. It’s a bit like the “day of silence” where kids duct tape their mouths shut as a way to show their silence in solidarity with gay/lesbian/transgender students who don’t feel the freedom to say who they are.
So the goal, I think, of No Mother’s day is to give up your day of being pampered, to instead simply vanish from the lives of your family so that they will be more “aware” of what life is like for those families who lost a mother.
Now that I think about it, I did notice, a couple of months ago, the “what did you do all day?” joke circulating around my Facebook friends.
I’m guessing that someone saw that joke and thought “WE NEED TO DO THAT OFFICIALLY!”
Note to self: Keep Lysistrata away from Facebook.
It really doesn’t make sense at all. Disappear and do what? Sit in the garage all day? My children would not understand if I didn’t accept the little gifts they’ve spent days creating at school… my six year old has already been smiling all week about “something pink I’m going to get on Sunday”. How does disappointing my loved ones show support for others? She didn’t think this through. If I could disappear to Tahiti, then I might jump on this bandwagon…