Weekend Geekery Contest

Tod Kelly says:

Great idea, Kyle!

OK, I’m going to take a stab at it. I’ll say off the bat that as far as I’m concerned the Avengers, though in a Whedon movie, aren’t Whedon characters, so as far as I’m concerned they’re off limits. Also, I don’t want to get into who can and can’t play what kind of character, so rather than casting Whedon’s *actors*, I’m casting Whedon’s *characters*. That way we know what we’re getting.

I’m also going to try hard not to go with all of the obvious answers, with maybe one or two exceptions. Also, I’m not going to go over-nerd and cast for, I dunno, Eiligias, the second cousin of Legolas who was mentioned that one time in the third book when… or whatever.

THE FELLOWSHIP

Frodo: Doyle, Angel. Frodo needs to be a slight, easily frightened figure that shows surprising heart and heroism when it is most needed. That sounds like the prefect shoe for the foot of Doyle, Angel’s original partner at Angel Investigations.

Samwise: Zander Harris, Buffy. Yeah, Zander might be discounted for being the comic relief, but in my mind what always made Zander Zander was his seemingly unerring ability to stand by the hero despite the fact that he was obviously “guy in the red shirt in a Star Trek landing party” material. Seriously, does anyone doubt Zander wouldn’t have done everything Sam did for Frodo after seeing his loyalty to the slayer?

Pippin & Merry: Dr. Horrible & Moist; Dr. Horrible’s Blog. OK, OK, so they’re evil. But they’re not that evil. And I can easily see the two of them being an inseparable pair tagging along with everyone else. And each doesn’t annoy me the way Trio member Andrew, the other obvious hobbit choice, does. Which plays which, you ask? Beats me, I can never remember which is which anyway. Flip a coin.

Aragorn: Angel, Buffy/Angel. This is the one obvious casting I’ll not let go of for the sake of originality, because it’s just too good. I mean, do I really even have to explain this one? Tortured history, exile, capital “D” Destiny that is foretold, forbidden inter-species love? Yeah, you know I’m right.

Legolas: River Tam, Firefly/Serenity. Because she really, really looks like an elf. And because even though he was so whispy, Legolas kicked major ass when in battle, just like River.

Gimli: Jayne Cobb, Firefly/Serenity. You’d have to CGI him “little,” but his coarseness, crankiness, and love of weapons make him my Gimli.

Boromir: Wesley Wyndam-Price, Buffy/Angel. A good guy hero, starts off too full of himself, in a desperate bid to defeat evil betrays his friends and helps the side of evil, is mortally wounded in the process (well, almost) and redeems himself. Natch.

Gandolph: Adelle DeWitt, Dollhouse. You though I was going to say Giles, didn’t you? Admit it. He’s a good choice, but too cuddly most of the time. No, Gandolph needs to be a leader that is in turns charming, frightening, and above all a total bad ass. Adelle gets the nod.

Bad Guys

Sauron: The First, Buffy. This is a tough one for me. On the one hand, you feel like you have to pick the First for Sauron. Basically, they’re the same damn character. But it’s kind of too obvious, so I’m also thinking: What about Glory, Buffy’s Big Bad from season five? She’s actually a pretty damn great choice for the Big S. They both have god-like evil powers when they are at their most powerful, each needs one small item (ring, key) to become all powerful, and the things that serve glory actually kind of look orc-like. Or at least, orc-like-lite. So maybe I have Glory understudy for the First.

Saruman: The Mayor, Buffy. Totally out of character, but wouldn’t that be awesome? Can you imagine him interacting with all the other characters he does through two movies, constantly asking them politely to watch their language, and wash their hands, and smiling that Wilfred Brimley smile? Of course you can. I’d go see a whole movie of only that. In fact, can I make him Aragorn or Frodo as well?

Gollum: Jonathan Levenson, Buffy. I’m assuming saying “great actor, and then we’ll CGI it” is cheating, so I think Gollum has to be chosen as if the character is playing the role straight up. One of The Trio, Jonathan is my choice. He’s short and toadying, he starts off good and becomes evil – but even when evil is kind of sometimes trying to be good again, and finally finds some measure of redemption over a pit as he’s killed.

Wormtongue: Warren Mears, Buffy. Another of The Trio, Warren is a thoroughly unlikable spineless manipulator. Perfect for Wormtongue.

Lesser Good Guys

Eowyn: Buffy Summers, Buffy. A major turned into a minor, but it still works. Girly-girl on the outside, ends up picking up a sword and – as it turns out – ends up being the surprise chosen one to beat a Big Bad. Plus if Angel is playing Aragorn, we get to see her fall for him and be thwarted by destiny all over gain.

Faramir: Spike, Buffy. Probably the worst pick of all of mine, but I’m choosing him because I really want Spike in my movie and he doesn’t fit anywhere, really. Also his character’s juxtaposition to his brother mirror’s Spike’s to his metaphorical brother, Angel. Also, Faramir teases you through most of his story by making you think he’s going to do the hero bad, and then in the end he’s the stand up guy that allows the hero to save the day. But mostly cause I like Spike.

Galadriel: WillowRosenberg, Buffy. Duh.

Theodred: Mal Reynolds, Firefly/Serenity. Mostly because I think Mal is the only Whedon character that naturally belongs on a horse.

Arwen: Cordellia Chase, Buffy/Angel. If Buffy gets to be Eowyn, then Codry gets to be Arwen. A love interest, but not quite human, and able to both have and be in visions. And also, only around for a few scenes here and there.

So there my Whedon characters to play LoTR characters. Too many faves not on the list: Echo, Faith, Oz (hey! we could have Oz be the wargs!), Walsh, Alpha, Captain Hammer. If there were any justice I wouldn’t be leaving any of these guys out while casting two members of The Trio. But there you have it. Casting is an art, not a science.