Last night I dreamed I was back at the restaurant.

There was a crisis before the dinner rush (isn’t there *ALWAYS*?) and I was there so I figured… hell. I know what to do. I got the dishwashers to focus on the stuff the chefs needed first (frying pans, carving knives), *THEN* dishes, *THEN* silverware. I got the prep chefs to focus on the pasta salad, the line chefs to focus on the meat, and the guys in the back to start on the finishing touches to the pastries.

Everything was all in its proper place and they unlocked the front doors.

I asked the boss “can I come back?” and he shook his head.

I woke up and had to pee.


Jaybird is Birdmojo on Xbox Live and Jaybirdmojo on Playstation's network. He's been playing consoles since the Atari 2600 and it was Zork that taught him how to touch-type. If you've got a song for Wednesday, a commercial for Saturday, a recommendation for Tuesday, an essay for Monday, or, heck, just a handful a questions, fire off an email to


  1. Last night I dreamt that I had an aquarium with a mouse with little baby pinkies. The pinkies became vicious and started eating the adult mouse leaving me horrified by the spectacle. Those cedar shavings were splattered and blood was pooling in a corner. Mouse could only look at me feeling just as hopeless as I felt from my perspective.
    The remainder of the dream had me reciting my wireless password over and over again. It does my heart good to see the thinly-veiled reference in the header for this entry.
    Happy New Year. Love to you and your Canadian child bride.

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