I got a haircut today at one of those discount haircutting places. The haircut is OK, but now my sideburns are shaved off, and the line between hair and no hair is uneven between either side of my face. I look at myself in the mirror and it’s like my head is permanently tilted to the right.

Not every man looks good with sideburns. Like this fellow here. But I wish I still had my sideburns. Right now I look like an alien or a child’s action figure with a plastic switchable helmet for hair. I hope my sideburns grow back again soon. When they do, I will love and protect and cherish them.

Burt Likko

Pseudonymous Portlander. Homebrewer. Atheist. Recovering litigator. Recovering Republican. Recovering Catholic. Recovering divorcé. Recovering Former Editor-in-Chief of Ordinary Times. House Likko's Words: Scite Verum. Colite Iusticia. Vivere Con Gaudium.


  1. This has nothing to do with sideburns but you are most likely to see this comment since it will be on top. I was going to send you the info but I cannot find any email address, hotmail or otherwise to send it to. A little help would be much appreciated.

  2. This is the funniest post TPL, I love it! I am sorry about your sideburn experiance, and totally had a mental picture when you begain describing removable parts! ha!

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