Problems With The Tesla Strategem

The Wife and I were talking that with our lotto winnings, we might buy his and hers Tesla Roadsters. All-electric, enough range to get to and from Los Angeles on a whim, they go from zero to sixty in 3.9 seconds, and they look sexy like Porsches.

We agreed we’d get them in green and gold but I think The Wife prefers the premium orange and I like the metallic indigo color. Those are the colors of our choice, but people would think we’re Broncos fans.

We have two problems with our plan:

1. There seems to be no drink holder in the cockpit. This is a problem, especially if you have a drink.

2. For some reason, we did not actually win the lotto tonight. The liquor store clerk assured me that this was the winning ticket, so I don’t know how that could have happened.

Well, maybe the 2009 model will have a drink holder, and we can reserve them now — just as soon as we actually get that winning ticket. And the car has only about 220 miles of range before it needs a new charge, which takes a couple of hours. So even though the Tesla looks like a lot of fun, I may have to wait for my Volt. Because I’m no hypermiler but I want to be both easy on the environment and easy on the gas consumption.

Burt Likko

Pseudonymous Portlander. Homebrewer. Atheist. Recovering litigator. Recovering Republican. Recovering Catholic. Recovering divorcé. Recovering Former Editor-in-Chief of Ordinary Times. House Likko's Words: Scite Verum. Colite Iusticia. Vivere Con Gaudium.