Fast Food The Five Thirty Eight Way

It’s the KFC “Double Down.”  I’d call it a “sandwich” except it’s, well, a big mass of meat.  First you take a fried chicken breast.  Then you put some cheese on it.  Then some bacon.  Slather it with something they call “Colonel’s Sauce” and it seems to me that the less you know about what’s in the “Colonel’s Sauce,” the better.*  Then, top it all off with another fried chicken breast.  If hardcore pornography has a culinary equivalent, this must surely be it: a bacon sandwich that uses fried chicken for bread.

Or is it?  As it turns out, the best statistical analysts out there have turned their considerable talents away from politics for the moment and instead offer us a double-lensed comparative analysis of this seeming monstrosity from KFC.  The bottom line is that if you are just looking at calories, well, it’s actually not so bad compared to the competition.  But, as you might suspect, that doesn’t really give you the whole picture.  But you need to read the link and learn more before you go out and get one of these things — because similar to the way taking a bump of cocaine was once described to me, chances are that once you have one you’re probably going to like it far too much for your own good.

* Seriously, isn’t there a marketing department or an advertising agency somewhere the couldn’t have come up with a better name than “Colonel’s Sauce”?  The sexual innuendo potential is through the roof.

Burt Likko

Pseudonymous Portlander. Homebrewer. Atheist. Recovering litigator. Recovering Republican. Recovering Catholic. Recovering divorcé. Recovering Former Editor-in-Chief of Ordinary Times. House Likko's Words: Scite Verum. Colite Iusticia. Vivere Con Gaudium.