Thanksgiving is my most favorite-est of holidays. Food, family, friends, a dog show, and a very flattering color palette for those of us who are Autumns…what’s not to like?
Most people don’t seem to love Thanksgiving the way I do. For most people it’s a chore instead of a labor of love. There’s a decided lack of Thanksgiving movies, a shortage of Thanksgiving television specials, and a downright dearth of Thanksgiving music.
Here are some songs to get you through a day you either love or hate. Hope it’s a great one.
This is not what I would call a good song per se, but Lord, is it EVER about buttered rolls.
Inside Joke, “Butter Dem Rolls”
There are a surprising number of fab songs about sweet potatoes but this one is lots of fun. You really can make a musical instrument out of a sweet potato, I’m told.
Glenn Miller, “Sweet Potato Piper”
Speaking of gratitude and food, here’s the Grateful Dead with “New Potato Caboose”.
Remember how your grandma would always microwave some frozen corn with margarine in it and then wondered why no one ever ate any?? No? I’m the only lucky one?? Ok, how about some Thanksgiving objectification instead?
Craig Morgan, “Corn Star”
If that last song made you hate America (and in all honesty even I hate America at least 17% more than I did before I listened to it), this song is the antidote. You WILL love America after you hear this song of green beans and thankfulness that a real live family recorded and put on YouTube for our listening pleasure.
Homestead Blessings, “Green Beans in the Garden”
If you’ve ever wondered “could any family EVER possibly have a more awkward Thanksgiving get together than mine?”, it would appear the answer is yes, yes they could, unless your ex also had revenge sex with one of your parents and then wrote a song describing it in fairly graphic detail. Slapping a trigger warning on this one.
The Dead South, “Fruit and Salad”
Beck has apparently visited my parents’ house for Thanksgiving a time or two, LOLZzzz.
This year, I am going to be thankful if my mother never reads this article.
Beck, “Nicotine and Gravy”
Here’s a teeny tiny song about stuffing to go along with the minuscule dab of stuffing most people eat.
It’s also about big butts, so it works on a couple different levels.
Beastie Boys, “Lay It On Me”
No pithy commentary here, just cranberries and family.
RIP Dolores. You’re missed.
Cranberries, “Ode To My Family”
We’ve all been thankful for who we didn’t go home with a time or two, amirite?
Lacy J. Dalton, “Wild Turkey”
If your taste runs more to deep fried turkey, here you go.
There’s a little ham in here too, I think.
William Shatner, “Deep Fried Turkey Remix”
I don’t have a turkey fryer, but I do have a propane stove. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude whenever it doesn’t blow me up. (this is a disturbing video BTW)
Pendulum, “Propane Nightmares”
If you’ve managed to get that bird cooked without your house burning down or blowing up, you’ll then be faced with that immortal question, “Light meat or dark meat?” This innocent query is oftentimes a precursor to a heated political debate that ends in your house burning down/blowing up in a whole different way (hopefully). Remember this song.
Dark Meat, “Well F**k You Then” (NSFW obviously)
I very nearly forgot the most important part of any Thanksgiving meal. Olives. Last year, my children sadly contracted a stomach bug and they were throwing up all day. The only thing they wanted to eat was olives. I’ll let you connect the dots there. Despite this, it ended up being one of my favorite Thanksgivings ever. It’s not the food, it’s the people you share it with. And the amount of disinfectant wipes you have on hand.
Olive, “You’re Not Alone”
I have never understood why Jello is mandatory at holiday get-togethers. Maybe Thanksgivings where the whole family is puking are more common than I had realized. In retrospect, I probably should have fed my kids Jello instead of numerous cans of black olives last year. So if you’re surrounded by sick children this Thanksgiving, here you go.
Far East Movement, “Jello”
Loosen up your belt a couple notches, Ordinarians, we’re almost there. Dessert is looming on the horizon.
One of the things I’m the most thankful for is the Internet, without which we wouldn’t have Ordinary Times. Plus, no one would have ever heard the name “Neil Cicieriega”. You still haven’t heard that name, you say? Well, here’s some of his handiwork.
Lemon Demon, “Pumpkin Pie”
And of course you can’t make pumpkin pie without Smashing Pumpkins. “Tonight, Tonight”
Dark Confession – while I do really like Smashing Pumpkins, I don’t really like pumpkin pie. I’m not totally sure anyone does. Fun fact, that’s why scientists invented Cool Whip from chemical residue of the naughahyde manufacturing process, to serve as a delivery system for pumpkin pie. Thus, I will usually make a pumpkin pie out of my Puritan sense of obligation, and then make something that people actually want to eat. Like chocolate. But since we’re so stuffed by then, eating dessert will very likely kill us.
Sia, “Death By Chocolate”
Sia, despite being Australian and everything, seems pretty hip to the whole Thanksgiving scene.
Here she is again, with her post-Thanksgiving anthem “I Go To Sleep”.
And no article on Thanksgiving music would be complete without the quintessential tribute to excess.
Weird Al Yankovic, “Eat It”