Lighten Up (Or You Will Be Pun-nished)

I know it’s election year for you guys and emotions are high and tempers are short. For our own health, sanity and for the sake of the community here, I appeal to the League  to make an active effort to calm down. So instead of doing things that make each other angry, why don’t we try to make each other laugh. Let’s cheer each other up with jokes. Bonus points for originality. I’ll start off.

Descartes was the philosopher who famously said: I think therefore I exist. On his birthday, some of his friends decided to take him out for a night on the town. Since he had been working on his Meditations, he hadn’t had much time for female companionship. So, they took him to a bordello. Faced with so many women wearing next to nothing, blood rushed from his brain to his groin. For just one moment in his life he stopped thinking and in that moment he ceased to exist.

So, what’s the moral of the story?

Do not put Descartes before the whores!

Consider this an open thread.

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18 thoughts on “Lighten Up (Or You Will Be Pun-nished)

  1. There’s three guys on a hill.  There’s a whorehouse at the top of the hill.  One guy’s going up the hill, one guy’s going down the hill, one guy’s in the whorehouse.  What are their nationalities?

    Well, the guy going up the hill is Russian.  The guy going down the hill is French.  The guy in the whorehouse?  Himalayan.

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  2. “Hey, guys, meet the new recruit.  Guys, this is Anakin.  Anakin, this is Darth, Darth, Darth, Darth, and Darth.”

    “What’s he called?”

    “Anakin.”

    “That’s going to cause some confusion. Is it OK if we call him Darth?”

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  3. I was feeling depressed and considering suicide, so I went to my priest and he reminded me that, in the eyes of the Church, if a man commits suicide, God does not allow him into the Kingdom of Heaven.
    He then suggested a few ways I could make it look like an accident.

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  4. A pirate with a steering wheel on the front of his pants walks into a bar.

    The bartender says “Hey, why do you have a steering wheel on the front of your pants?”

    The pirate says “arrr, it’s drivin’ me nuts.”

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  5. A rabbi walks into a bar with a duck on his head.
    The bartender says “Where’d you get that?”
    The duck says “Brooklyn, there’s hundreds of them.”

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