The first week is always a little tough; everyone’s getting their bearings. A brief writeup and standings below the fold.
Our marquee matchup of the week wound up in a tie, of all things, between the Not-so-Gentlewomen and Partisan Warrior. The big disappointment here was Victor Cruz for the Gentlewomen — all he did in his game against Dallas was drop three passes. No salsa dance for you!
Two games resulted in squeakers — first, Heisman Cain beat out Fuzzy Dunlop by one point, as a great game for Denver’s Demaryius Thomas was not enough to make up for a lackluster outing by Cam Newton of the Panthers, letting Heisman Cain ride the Aaron Rodgers gravy train, putting up good numbers despite a clobbering rendered by unforced penalties and a tough 49ers defense wearing their whites in Green Bay. And in the last game of the week, a touchdown pass from Philip Rivers to Malcolm Floyd was just enough to let the Unlikely Pseudonyms squeak by the Ordinary Marksists, again by one point.
The blowout of the week was looking like the Dictionary Kids over Stoicdread, powered by a stellar opening day performance from Matt Ryan. But Stoic came back over the course of a long Sunday afternoon to make it respectable. No, the big differential came from Multiple Scorgasms, who topped Legitimate Reception by 47 points on the strength of a fantastic Monday night kicking game by the uninjured Nate Kaeding and a guy you might have heard of who wears #18 for a new team this year.
Rounding out the action was Bullmoose Revival over Haulin’ Oats, powered by Tony Romo of the Dallas Romos, and Black Hole over the Tebow Ghostwriters on the strength of 96 yards and a touchdown by the crippled-but-still-playing Jeremy Maclin and a phenomenally lucky David Akers, who got the only clunk-off-the-crossbars kick that actually scored points in living memory — tying the NFL record for longest field goal while he was at it. Not that I’m bitter about that happening against my favorite team or anything.
Thanks to the NFL’s new policy of staging one game per week a day before the other 30 teams are required to post their injury reports, we all get to post our teams early every week. Players, please get your teams posted by Thursday before the Packers-Bears grudge match. So after week one, our standings are:
Good luck to everyone next week!