Sandwiches, cont.

In preparing for my recent instructional guide on sandwich making, I asked the MD crowd whether a hot dog qualified.  Responses were mixed.  Included in the conversation were whether burritos ought be classified as such.

It turns out their is legal precedent for just such a question:

“A sandwich is not commonly understood to include burritos, tacos and quesadillas, which are typically made with a single tortilla and stuffed with a choice filling of meat, rice, and beans,” Federal Court Judge Jeffrey Locke wrote in a decision released last week.

Well, that settles that.  Now, if only we could get a burrito mandate, maybe they’ll build a Chipotle within 5 miles of my house.

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24 thoughts on “Sandwiches, cont.

      • Patrick claims that a “sandwich” must be of Anglo descent.

        If I may paraphrase his argument to show its absurdity:

        God intended for a sandwich to be “meat & bread”, not “meat & breaduardo!”

        ;-)

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        • Dude, it’s not about Anglocentrism, the exact opposite in fact.

          Here, let me show you why it’s absurd to consider a burrito a sandwich.

          Pedro: “I’m going to write a post about the right way to build a burrito.”
          Jesus: “Just a burrito? Why not all lunchables that are encased in breads?”
          Pedro: “Well, a sandwich is just a burrito with two tortillas instead of one, and no wrap.”
          Jesus: “What about a stuffed pita?”
          Pedro: “Yeah, that’s a burrito, too.”
          Jesus: “So basically everything is a burrito? A hot dog is a burrito? A taco? A Gyro?”
          Pedro: “Yeah, they’re all burritos”
          Frank: “You two guys are fucking crazy. A fucking taco isn’t a fucking burrito, and a fucking hot dog ain’t no fucking burrito. Now shut the fuck up or I’m going to shoot the both of you.”

          If you say a sandwich = {all things which include a bread product, a meat and/or cheese and/or spread product, and optional condiments} the definition of sandwich is absurdly broad.

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  1. I’m rather fond of corned-beef-on-tortilla, built as follows. Lay a large flour tortilla out flat. Coat with a thin layer of mustard. Add a layer of thinly sliced corned beef, covering the whole thing, not too thick. Then a layer of leaf lettuce (or whatever other leafy green stuff is at hand). Start from one edge and roll loosely, the final product should be about the same diameter as the cardboard tube in a roll of paper towels. You can handle it with one hand and every bite has the proper mix of the ingredients. I don’t care what the court says, it’s a sandwich.

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  2. This what you get when you rely on a Federal court for these sorts of definitions:

    Botanically speaking, tomatoes are the fruit of a vine, just as are cucumbers, squashes, beans, and peas. But in the common language of the people, whether sellers or consumers of provisions, all these are vegetables which are grown in kitchen gardens, and which, whether eaten cooked or raw, are, like potatoes, carrots, parsnips, turnips, beets, cauliflower, cabbage, celery, and lettuce, usually served at dinner in, with, or after the soup, fish, or meats which constitute the principal part of the repast, and not, like fruits generally, as dessert. Nix v. Hedden(1893) 149 U.S. 304, 307 .

    Thus, we know that a tomato is a vegetable rather than a fruit because Justice Horace Gray wouldn’t eat a tomato for dessert.

    In my opinion, Judge Locke correctly applied the Nix rule: a burrito is not a sandwich because while Justice Gray might eat a burrito for lunch instead of a sandwich, he would not have understood himself to be eating a sandwich but rather something different than a sandwich.

    Which is coincidentally lucky for the inexact descriptor, because as it happens, a burrito cannot be a sandwich. A burrito has only one component that is bread-like; there is only one tortilla with stuff inside of it, rather than two tortillas with stuff placed in between them.

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    • Sure, a sombrero is a hat.

      Somebody who’d never seen one before might say, “Hey, look at that dude wearin’ that funny-lookin’ hat!”

      Somebody who’d never seen a burrito before would not say, “Hey, look at that dude eatin’ that funny lookin’ sandwich!”

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        • So stipulated. Yet in the Third World, the unsafest places to eat are the Fancy Restaurants, where the slovenly cooks put things back in the refrigerators/charnel houses. To eat safely down there, follow the very poorest people around: watch where they eat. Often as not it’s some little food wagon, where you can obtain fresh food, piping hot.

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    • What kind of fool would have a burrito without condiments?

      And on a completely different topic, if you consider yourself a fan of burritos, why the hell would you want a Chipotle near your house? Down with mass-market, corporate burritos…

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