When considering who to vote for as Governor, shouldn’t you consider the size of a man’s testicles? Or how sexy his (unseen) wife is as compared to María Conchita Alonso? Well, I defy you to watch this three-minute campaign spot and not suffer a moment of slackjawed astonishment.
…I mean… Wow. This man holds elective office. In California. And given that former Lieutenant Governor Abel Maldonado announced today that he is not going to run at all, this guy is the only Republican in the race right now. Tim Donnelly is (surprise!) a favorite of the Tea Party crowd out here in the Golden State after having appeared on the Colbert Report to sing the national anthem in English, build four hundred yards of fence on the Mexican border, and proclaim “It’s a good day to be a vigilante.”
Assemblyman Donnelly might get some primary competition from able-to-be-taken-seriously-on-an-intellectual-level-but-come-on-who-the-hell-has-ever-heard-of-him Neel Kashkari, whose credentials include having overseen the TARP program for a grand total of eight admittedly stressful months at the very end of the Bush Administration and very beginning of the Obama Administration. Actually, on at least the more prominent of the social issues, I rather like Mr. Kashkari and I’m confident that he’s a fearsomely intelligent technocrat. Still, he’s never held elective office at all and accordingly it’s hard to imagine the majority leaders in the Legislature taking him any more seriously than they did Arnold Schwarzenegger.
But that’s all quite academic. Truly, we have become a one-party state, which is absolutely a phenomenal state of affairs for a Democratic incumbent with name recognition who seeks re-election. No Republican prospect has even yet been identified for any other statewide office except Secretary of State.
So, if I were keeping score, I’d give Governor Jerry Brown an IBB for 2014 after he is re-elected.