I have a couple of garments that I love.
One of them is a white knit long-sleeved t-shirt from the Gap. Nothing fancy, but something easy to put on as part of a simple outfit. The other is a pair of white linen pants, which I bought at H&M years ago in anticipation of a trip I was taking to Greece with the Better Half. Something about swanning around Mykonos seemed to call for white linen pants. (Yes, yes. I realize that thinking along those lines is probably not something that straight dudes do a lot. Feel free to file this under Russell Talks Gay Again.) Not many occasions call for such trousers in my life as currently lived, but every so often I wear them to go out.
I refuse to wear either of them before Memorial Day.
Now, I will be the first to admit that the “wear white between Memorial Day and Labor Day ONLY” rule is idiotic, outmoded, and never made any sense. I know this. I freely concede this. Heaven help me, I want to have the strength to ignore moronic dictates like these.
And yet, my friends… and yet. I also cannot make myself split infinitives with carefree abandon, despite the rule against doing so being similarly outmoded and pointlessly devoted to Latin. I get all hung up on using the subjunctive mood wrong (an “error” I keep finding in the book I’m reading right now, which I insist on thinking is incorrect despite the fact that the bloody thing managed to win the Booker Prize).
I realize that this kind of adherence to pointless rules is not a sign that I am a Right-Thinking Person in All Things, but rather a Pedantic Martinet Who Probably Annoys People at Dinner Parties. And yet I cannot stop myself.
So out with it. Do any of you refuse to deviate from rules you know only make life more tedious and complicated? Which bright lines do you refuse to step over, despite the fact that on further inspection they’re actually pretty dim?