Let’s Hear Some More, Big Talker

Talk is cheap. Affidavits, on the other hand, are evidence.

“Litigation” is that part of a person’s life when one finds out how few friends one really has, measured by their purported friend’s eagerness to help, support, and encourage someone else in court (often manifesting in encouragement to reject a reasonable compromise settlement proposal, in a manner akin to giving bad advice to a game show contestant).

That is, until their litigant friend asks them to sign a document under penalty of perjury, at which time said would-be witness suddenly decides that she wants nothing to do with something that isn’t really her fight.

Which, in turn, is immensely frustrating for the attorney handling the case. Even if that’s happened to him literally scores of times previously in his career, and yes, I know the difference between “literally” and “figuratively.”

* * *

I’d like to say I feel better now that I got that off my chest. But I don’t, not really.


Burt LikkoBurt Likko is the pseudonym of an attorney in Southern California. His interests include Constitutional law with a special interest in law relating to the concept of separation of church and state, cooking, good wine, and bad science fiction movies. Follow his sporadic Tweets at @burtlikko, and his Flipboard at Burt Likko.

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7 thoughts on “Let’s Hear Some More, Big Talker

  1. I once faced the “pleasure” of testifying in a divorce case. My SIL by marriage was going through a difficult divorce, mainly becuase of her future ex’s doings, but not entirely. I got word through back channels that both of them thought I and my wife might be called to testify regarding custody issues.

    Now, I love my SIL and would do almost anything for her, but that. Frankly, they could have resolved their issues if they were not both being dicks about it, and that’s what I told them. And I told them, in the nicest, back channel way, that I would dodge any processor, and if eventually served, that I would burn both of them on the stand. And I meant EVERY SINGLE WORD.

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  2. Ya know? There are worse things. Having the FBI want to talk with you, because a former coworker (who you haven’t seen in years) just did something Really Fucking Dumb and made National News.

    Dodging the FBI is inadvisable.

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  3. Ain’t that the truth. As an immigration lawyer, getting witnesses into court is one of the toughest aspects of the job because many potential witnesses are immigrants as well and want as little to do with USCIS as possible. This is true even if they can derive status from the main Respondent in many cases.

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