Fantasy Football: Week 16 (and Football Season open thread)

(This is a post by our own Dman!)
Week in Review: Week 16

ProdigalAccipitridae Fly High over Wasted Warriors!!!

After a week where the Warriors forgot their Partisan bickering long enough to knock off the Thunderlips Express, they when back to form this week. Coach Jesse’s highest scorer was the kicker and only three other made it past their projections. And Cam the Man last week became Cam on the Lam this week with one quarter of the points scored the week before. For Coach Jaybird, the holy Cow trinity of Stafford, Matthews and Cooks was good enough to make up for the donut rocking of Jefferies. Nu talked with the victorious coach after the game

Nu: After an entire season complaining about an even-steven season, you find yourself in the finals, coach.
Jaybird: I admit to not having seen that coming.
Nu: Are you pleased with your season, then?
Jaybird: I try to live my life in a constant state of non-directed gratitude.
Nu: Is that a no?
Jaybird: It’s more that this game confuses me more than anything else. I mean, sure, I’ve won the last two games…
Nu: But given the patterns so far this year…
Jaybird: It means I’m going to lose this next one.
Nu: The Final.
Jaybird: Yes.
Nu: How many times have you come in second in this league, Coach?
Jaybird: Two so far.
Nu: So we’re looking at a third time in second place this Sunday.
Jaybird: There’s nothing wrong with consistently being the best team in the AFC.
Nu: That’s not how Fantasy Football works, Coach.
Jaybird: Yeah, well, I’m still trying to wrap my head around that whole thing.

 

Viking Unseat the Horsemen!!!!

Captain Kirk is leading another group of men where they have not gone before. Cousins has performed very well the last few weeks and this was no exception as the posted more points than any two players of his opponent. Add double H to that of Hurns and Hopkins and it blew past coach Bills team. The Horsemen only had one player score more than projections. Nu talked with new color analyst Dman about the game.

Nu: Let’s talk with our new color analyst… Dman?! You are the new analyst.
Dman: Yeah. after being bounced in the first round I needed a job.
Nu: And Week in Review hired you?
Dman: Why are you so surprised? I have good knowledge of the game, just give me a shot.
Nu: Okay, so what are your though on how the Horsemen lost this week?
Dman: My thought’s were they needed to score more points.
Nu: Right, and what about the Vikings playing Kirk Cousins this week.
Dman: It was a good thing they did. They had no other quarterback.
Nu: That’s it? You are a better coach than analyst.
Dman: Ouch, that hurt.

(Photo is “Rock Dennis tackles Taylor Wardlow” by John McStravick. Used under a Creative Commons License.)


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Jaybird is Birdmojo on Xbox Live and Jaybirdmojo on Playstation's network. He's been playing consoles since the Atari 2600 and it was Zork that taught him how to touch-type. If you've got a song for Wednesday, a commercial for Saturday, a recommendation for Tuesday, an essay for Monday, or, heck, just a handful a questions, fire off an email to AskJaybird-at-gmail.com

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4 thoughts on “Fantasy Football: Week 16 (and Football Season open thread)

  1. Gah! Kirk Cousins! Can you believe that sh*t? Of course, my entire team decided to take the day off, so it’s not like a poor performance by one Viking would have made a difference.

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