Stupid Tuesday Questions, inaugural edition

Burt has Monday Trivia.  Jonathan Bernstein as Sunday Questions for conservatives and liberals.  I’ve pondered what similar feature I should add to Blinded Trials.  What kind of weekly item would really sum up the essence of Russell Saunders?

Thus, I give you Stupid Tuesday Questions — one blogger’s exploration of the inane and pointless.

To start out, I’m going to mine my personal history.  The Better Half has a wonderful group of friends from college, several of whom have become my friends as well.  However, despite their many admirable qualities, they have a very odd tradition.  Whenever one of them gets married, they request Meat Loaf’s “Paradise By the Dashboard Light” at the reception and stand around the dance floor singing along.  The Better Half and I agree that this is an impossibly bad song to play at wedding receptions, though we disagree whether it occurred at our own reception a few years ago.  (It did.)

So, here’s my question — what’s your nomination for the all-time worst song to sing at a wedding or reception?  In addition to the above, I submit “Run for Your Life” by the Beatles.

Russell Saunders

Russell Saunders is the ridiculously flimsy pseudonym of a pediatrician in New England. He has a husband, three sons, daughter, cat and dog, though not in that order. He enjoys reading, running and cooking. He can be contacted at blindeddoc using his Gmail account. Twitter types can follow him @russellsaunder1.

15 Comments

    • It’s never been one of my favorites of his, so I’ve never paid much attention to the lyrics.

      A worthy nomination.

  1. I date myself, but any of Sir Mix-a-lot’s oeuvre…

      • Not as bad as Metallica popping up on the “classic rock” station a few years ago, mixed right in there with Led Zep and Skynrd.

        We’re terrifyingly close, though, to the music my generation defined as “crappy junk that teenagers listen to” getting into the “classic rock” stations, at which point I might as well just sell my organs and retire.

        • I heard the looong version of “Master of Puppets” on the radio the other day. Like, the *WHOLE* thing. I remembered thinking “they never would have played this on the radio back in 1986!!!”

          At which point it sunk in that that was 25 years ago.

    • Good news! Thanks to my recent investigations (interview subject = one 20-year-old office clerical worker), I can confirm that Young People Today still know who Sir Mix-a-lot was.

      I hope everyone is very much reassured.

      • I feel a little better.

        I wonder if it’s not just that he was the Tiny Tim of our era, however.

  2. “White Wedding” by Billy Idol. What makes it particularly gauche is that this song is actually played at a lot of wedding receptions, by and for people who have never bothered to listen to the lyrics.

    “These Boots Are Made For Walkin'” would also be pretty bad, although I don’t think I’ve heard that one at a wedding reception reception.

    Am I the only one who has noticed that nearly every DJ at every wedding reception begins open dancing with AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long”? Why is that?

    • I haven’t heard that, but I can say that if I never hear “Sweet Caroline” again, it’ll be too soon.

  3. I had a string quartet outdoors during the eating, and then an Irish folk music quartet indoors for the dancing. I don’t get the whole “D.J. at the Wedding” dynamic, myself, although I’ve had fun dancing while drunk at more than a few weddings.

    “Calypso Breakdown” by far produces the worst Conga-line possible. It should be avoided at all costs just for that reason. I have heard both of Burt’s suggestions and agree with ’em as winners (or losers, depending upon how you look at it).

    “I Wanna Kiss The Bride” by Elton John is another hilarious candidate. “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred is pretty bad, just because it’s pretty bad. A particularly oddball friend of mine had “I Bet You They Won’t Play This Song On The Radio” by Monty Python, which was awesomely bad.

    • We closed out our reception with “Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life”. It seemed like a good idea when we picked it. And, fortunately, by the time it rolled around, everyone who was left either thought it was hilarious or didn’t recognize the song.

  4. John Entwistle’s Trick of the Light.

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