Congratulations! Your dreams have come true.
On a recent evening out with your friends, you decide to stop by an open mike night at a local club. Emboldened by a strange combination of allergy medication and a glass or two of nice pinot, you stumble on stage in front of a stunned audience and your even more stunned friends and proceed to lay down some amazing rhymes. (What kids these days would call “sick,” unless they’re not anymore.) Much to your surprise and delight, in the audience is a talent scout who recognizes in you the greatest star since Humpty Hump. Documents are signed.
Only one thing stands in the way of your imminent fame — what to call yourself? Everyone agrees that your real name would never do as a stage moniker. You flirt with calling yourself “Kanye West,” but everyone is seized with a strong urge to punch you in the eye when they hear that name. So what will you call yourself?
Of course, this is yet another one of the foolish games I would play with my friends back in the day. My friend Steph had the winning choice, which was “Notorious O.E.D.” I went with “nKredulis.”
So, when your CD drops, what will we be calling you?