Dear pals in the Maine Republican Party —
A few days ago I offered some pointers to my friends on the other end of the political spectrum from me. Specifically, I suggested that there are certain kinds of people the Republicans should try not to have associated with them, in their quest to embiggen their tent.
And lo, the outgoing head of your party has decided to serve himself up as a coruscating example of the sort of jerk the national Party really needs to lose:
Outgoing Maine Republican Party Chairman Charlie Webster plans to investigate claims that “dozens of black people” who were unfamiliar to municipal officials voted Nov. 6 in rural Maine towns.
[snip]
“In some parts of the state, there were dozens of black people who came in to vote,” Webster said. “Nobody in town knew them.”
When Carrigan pressed Webster to identify the towns, the Maine Republican Party chairman only specified that they were small rural towns.
[snip]
“One of the reasons people think there’s a problem is that they don’t know these people when they come in to vote,” he said. “Several pockets in the state had unusually high numbers of new voters, and the selectmen and town clerks did not know who they are.”
Webster bristled at the notion that his probe is racially motivated.
Because who could possibly conclude that his probe was racially motivated? How could anyone reading this article think “this man seems inordinately suspicious about a particular group’s participation in electoral fraud specifically because of their race”?
Let’s begin by contemplating how epically stupid a plot like this would be, were it real. These black ersatz voters would travel to the whitest state in the union and then pick the communities where they were most likely to stand out, rather than a place like Portland. All for the purpose of contributing a handful of votes in a state that the President (the heavy favorite heading up to November 6) carried by over 100,000. In order to lock down a whopping four electoral votes.
That plot is so idiotic I fear I may have gotten measurably less intelligent simply by thinking about it.
How’s this for an alternate theory — these worrisome black people (generously granting that they even exist) were voting legitimately and the selectmen and town clerks just didn’t happen to know them?!? Perhaps they keep to themselves? Do white voters not personally acquainted with the local grandees enjoy similar scrutiny? Why do I somehow doubt that?
As it happens, the Better Half’s vocation makes him a somewhat prominent member of our community, and as his partner fiancée I have become acquainted with a great many similarly prominent people in the town where we live. I think that tally may even include one of the selectmen, though I’m not certain. Not one of these people was in the town hall when I cast my vote, and the nice woman who handed me my ballot was a perfect stranger. She didn’t give me the side-eye when I voted just because she didn’t know me, so why should town clerks around the state do otherwise with voters they don’t know who just by coincidence happen to be black?
So here’s my friendly tip to the Maine Republican Party, one of the last remaining bastions of respected moderation within the GOP — have the incoming Chairman and maybe another prominent officeholder or two (*cough*SusanCollins*cough*) publicly, unequivocally repudiate Mr. Webster’s comments. In as polite but unambiguous a manner possible, tell him to shut his piehole and assure the people of the state that his statements are in no way representative of how the Party feels as a whole. Given that this particular gentleman has a history of making trumped-up charges of voter fraud that the (Republican) Secretary of State has found baseless (as the article goes on to report), the risk/benefit calculation is pretty lopsided. Loudly distancing yourself from an embarrassing clown who maybe quite possibly perhaps looks just the slightest bit racist is pretty much all win for you. Making clear that, no matter how they look or where they live, voters in Maine can go to the polls without fear of intimidation or undue scrutiny is a message that will only redound to your credit.
Respectfully submitted,
Your chum Russell
[Updated] PS> Bonus tip, offered in the spirit of friendly cooperation: If your damage-control follow-up interview contains this phrase
“There’s nothing about me that would be discriminatory. I know black people. I play basketball every Sunday with a black guy. He’s a great friend of mine.”
you need to do anything in your power (wet yourself, speak in tongues, fake a seizure, have a seizure, etc) to end the interview, which I can assure you is going disastrously and is not helping your cause.
Applause.
Whooping and cheering!!
Congrats again you two!
Hear hear on both counts!
Congrats from me as well.
Well said.
Not that they’ll listen. Pandering to the “oh my god vote fraud, those damn n***rs” southern crowd is about all they have left. Romney doubled down on it yesterday himself.
Seriously, do these guys not get it? Or are they so used to being able to relate the entire world to their own personal experiences and histories that they’re clueless how they sound to outsiders?
The four votes on SSM marriage – much more than the re-election of Obama, IMO – has really made guys like Webster look retrograde and out of it. It’s over, fellas. New day, new ways. Get ready for the retirement home. There are whole bunches of newcomers out there you’ve never seen before – even though they’ve lived in your communities for decades.
No, they really do not get it at all.
As much as I would like it to be true, it’s not true yet that anti-SSM can be consigned to the dustbin of history. The referenda in four blue states doesn’t change this. We still have more work to do to get to that point. Talking about the issue – and our opponents on the issue – as being so yesterday is not yet a valuable strategy. We are further along than I thought we would be, but we need to win over a state more purple than Wisconsin before we can start driving it home.
I understand everything you’re saying, Russell, but did these alleged voters really have to be so, well, black? After all, these four might just represent some tidal wave of, perhaps, eight, or twelve.
These black ersatz voters would travel to the whitest state in the union and then pick the communities where they were most likely to stand out, rather than a place like Portland. All for the purpose of contributing a handful of votes in a state that the President (the heavy favorite heading up to November 6) carried by over 100,000. In order to lock down a whopping four electoral votes.
Exactly! It’s the last thing anyone would would suspect. My guess is that it was Axelrod’s idea. You know how sneaky those people are.
No one expects the
SpanishBlack Inquisition!Our chief weapon is surprise!… Surprise and fear… fear and surprise… Our two weapons are fear and surprise… and ruthless efficiency! Our three weapons are fear, and surprise, and ruthless efficiency… and an almost fanatical devotion to the President… Our four… no….Amongst our weaponry are such elements as fear, surpri… I’ll come in again.
The R’s will really be on to something when knuckleknobs like this don’t get to positions of power in the party. That is what they need to aim at; not having to repudiate embarrassing pinheads.
A thought experiment: strike the word “black” and any other references to race from Webster’s statement. What do we think of his statements and actions then?
I would still consider them a risible waste of time and obvious plea for attention, part of a pattern of similarly moronic behavior from the person in question. I just wouldn’t consider it a nakedly racist waste of time.
Yeah, that.
Well, he still sounds like an idiot looking for an excuse, and he still sounds conspiratorial except without the dash of racism.
Burt,
The thing is, he wouldn’t have made that statement absent the word black. That matters. Like, a whole shit ton.
I understand that, quite well.
I think it’s useful to seperate out the racism from the rest of the statement, because it demonstrates that not only is this racially offensive, it would be weak ketchup in the first place.
Gotcha. Duly noted. Thanks for clarifying.
I think it would look a lot like the same guy’s previous paranoid fantasies.
Is it wrong to say that I’m not surprised that the old white small town people who normally man the polling stations in a small town might not know any black people?
Well, I grew up in southern New England, and in my high school graduating class there were two black students and 1 vietnamese (iirc). Out of 217. I think there were maybe 30 ‘non caucasian’ students in the whole school (over 1000 students).
A ‘melting pot of cultural diversity’ it wasn’t back then. Now, there’s a greater SE Asian influx more than anything else, but that’s due to some new casinos in the area that have changed the demographics greatly in the last 10 years.
But yeah, your scenario is quite plausible.
One of my friends (who also graduated from my high school, albeit 7 years after myself) felt the need to make a Facebook post regarding his choice to vote for Obama. It was along the lines of, “I didn’t vote for him because I’m black. I didn’t vote for him because he’s black. I voted for him because I think he can get the job done.”
Naturally, those of us who knew him well started in on, “You’re black? No way! Since when? Dude – did you tell your doctor??” etc. I mean, if you can’t pick on your friends in a politically incorrect way, who can you pick on?
Not if a black person moved in!
That would be the talk of the town for the next five months.
(at least judging by the standards of PA small towns, where nebby is an understatement…)
So we’ve gone from, “But my gardner is black!” to “Our voters sure as hell ain’t black!”
Really?
No… REALLY?
HOLYFUCK!
And, yet, there still seems to be a lot of talk about how “the
sheriffpresident is near”.“It’s not racist, it’s just that I don’t trust black people that haven’t personally checked in with me daring to vote, especially when they might be voting for a candidate that I don’t personally approve of.”
“It’s not racist, it’s just that I don’t trust black people that haven’t personally checked in with me daring to vote, especially when they might be voting for a candidate that
I don’t personally approve ofis black.”FIFY.
Take the gloves off and call it what it is.
Well, New Hampshire is suffering from an epidemic of purple voters….
What Burt said.
No question Black is shorthand for Other. But the same moron tried to use Student as Other a year ago. (See the link in my previous comment.) I think he gets the same pass on out-and-out racism that the GOP does: that’s not all that’s going on with their Obama freakout, because they were every bit as batshit about the Clintons.
As I’ve said before. Not all Republican’s are racist. Some think all Democratic victories are illegitimate. Whoever is still saying dumb things when Hillary is inagurated can be given a gold star for being simply crazy, not racist.
Misogynist, for sure, but not racist 🙂
Misogyny is criticizing Sarah Palin, not Hillary Clinton.
Duh.
Re: Update
Not only does he KNOW a black guy, he plays basketball with a black guy. That means the black guy is like, legitimate black. No, not legitimate-rape legitimate, legitimate legitimate. Hell, it practically makes the speaker black!
Serious question: How long until Maine makes basketball ilegal? I mean, damn, its presence led to at least one actual black citizen of the state!
Nicely said, Dr. Saunders. Though, I wouldn’t have been as nice when writing about this.