As is my wont, earlier today I was noodling around the Internet. While on the one hand I lament how disconnected I’ve become from some of the “old media” I used to enjoy (on which I will write more in an upcoming STQ), on the other hand one of the truly marvelous things about our age is that you can stumble across something you’d never have otherwise encountered simply by wandering through the Web from the familiar comfort of your favorite chair (which is also something I plan to write more about one of these days).
So this morning some of my noodling was over at Huffington Post. While I don’t love HuffPo and find it full of sensationalism and lackluster writing and thinking, it does serve as a pretty good aggregator of stuff I might miss otherwise. (I feel somewhat similarly about The Dish, but will grant that Andrew Sullivan actually has valuable stuff to say in his own right on occasion. And hey, he linked to me the other day, so I should be grateful.) I don’t know what it was about this link that caught my eye, but whatever it was I clicked on it.
This is the opening paragraph that greeted me:
At the end of a Saturday interview with Diplo, Jillionaire and Walshy Fire of Major Lazer during the second weekend of the Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival, I mentioned my upcoming conversation with 2 Chainz, scheduled for later in afternoon.
Friends, I recognize exactly two of the proper nouns in that sentence. One of them is “Saturday,” so it doesn’t count. While I know of Coachella, I don’t know what kinds of acts play there or anything much about it. (I know more about Lilith Fair, Lollapalooza or [God help me] Woodstock than I do about Coachella.)
I haven’t the foggiest idea of what Diplo, Jillionaire, Walshy Fire, Major Lazer (those are two different things, right? Or is Walshy Fire of Major Lazer all one thing?) or 2 Chainz are. And while I could probably have sussed some of that out if I’d finished the article, the needle had already been dragged across the LP of my mind and the song was over. (Look it up, young people.)
What I gathered from that opening paragraph is “Russell, this article is not for you. Go lie down somewhere.”
So thank you, Internet. You have reminded me of that vast gulf that separates me from Kids These Days. I had managed to fool myself into thinking I wasn’t totally out of touch by knowing the occasional new tune on the radio and keeping abreast of current celebrities by reading hilarious fashion websites. I still get carded regularly when I buy beer. “Not that old” was the way I thought of myself.
But no. No, like Saul of Tarsus, the scales have fallen from my eyes. I am old. There is naught to be done but accept it. Thank you for the wake-up call, HuffPo. It’s for the best that I knew.
And now I need to go lie down.