One of the pitfalls of trying to keep a blog going with new material is that, sadly, the irritations and frustrations of its author may persist unchanged with time. The worry that one has griped about something already and the related temptation to gripe about it again regardless are probably best kept under a vigilant blogger’s gaze, lest his loyal readers (all dozen or so of you!) mutter discontentedly and grow bored.
And yet, sometimes life pushes the temptation button a bit too hard.
So I apologize for ranting this morning about something I am certain I have already ranted about before. I regret that it could not be helped. Furthermore, I apologize to readers who may or may not be my mother (it was nice chatting with you yesterday!) that the swearing that is shortly to commence also cannot be helped. This post will not be sufficiently cathartic without it. I regret this defect in my character and beg your indulgence.
ATTENTION, PARENTS OF AMERICA! I UNDERSTAND THE SIREN CALL OF CONSTANT COMMUNICATION AND CONTACT WITH THE WORLD ALL TOO WELL! IT IS A MARVEL OF OUR AGE THAT WE CAN STAY IN CEASELESS TOUCH WITH FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES, AND DISCOVER HOW KIM KARDASHIAN LOOKS AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT SHOULD WE WISH TO KNOW! HURRAH!
But if you are accompanying your child for a medical appointment, I implore you to put your goddamn fucking cell phones away for the duration of our time together. Away entirely! This does not mean “pause briefly in your texting to look up when I enter the room.” This does not mean “answer my questions in a manner you consider satisfactory while simultaneously checking your Facebook updates.” This means “taking the device from your hands and placing it in an appropriate receptacle until such time as our interaction has concluded.”
Is the world a fascinating place, full of scintillating new facts and rumors and fun? Boy, howdy! I get it. But there is literally nothing in the whole wide world more important than your child’s health, at least as far as you should be concerned. Nothing. And if the reason for your coming in to see me was important enough to get you here, it’s important enough for you to disconnect from the datastream for the duration of the appointment. Period.