The Ethics of Childbearing
Writing at The Stone, Christine Overall wants us to give careful ethical reflection to the question of whether to have children:
If we fail to acknowledge that the decision of whether to parent or not is a real choice that has ethical import, then we are treating childbearing as a mere expression of biological destiny. Instead of seeing having children as something that women do, we will continue to see it as something that simply happens to women, or as something that is merely “natural” and animal-like.
The decision to have children surely deserves at least as much thought as people devote to leasing a car or buying a house. Procreation decisions are about whether or not to assume complete responsibility, over a period of at least 18 years, for a new life or new lives. Because deciding whether to procreate has ethical dimensions, the reasons people give for their procreative choices deserve examination. Some reasons may be better — or worse — than others.
She notes how nobody asks the parents of a newborn why they chose to have a child, whereas there’s still the cultural expectation that couples who decide not to have children justify their doing so. This should come as no surprise: we’re biologically built and driven to be fruitful and multiply, religious commands for doing so remain prevalent, and women’s control over their sexuality remains controversial.
Overall believes the burden of justification should rest primarily on those who choose to have children because they take the ethically more risky path. Insofar as bearing and raising a child means responsibility for another person’s life, I agree with this, but given the ethical difficulties related to the means of controlling reproduction–abortion, contraception, and abstinence–this burden of justification is not so easily assessed. Both the decision to have children and the choice to remain childless have ethical import; both merit serious ethical thought.
There’s a serious consent issue, it seems to me, when it comes to bringing a child into the world.
I mean, as much as I enjoy life, I look back and see a number of things that were fairly intense. Some of them were painful, some of them were infuriating, some of them were rapturous… and, sure, all of them helped make me who I am today and so on but I don’t know that I’d want to put another person through these things. Certainly not without their full and explicit consent. Without that, it strikes me as vaguely unethical to create a child.
If that sounds crazy, maybe this will sound vaguely less crazy:
http://youtu.be/AC6MD2d1RY0
I wouldn’t say it sounds crazy, but I’m not sure how ethically realistic it is.
There are a handful of folks with whom I’ve discussed this and the theists (especially the Christian theists) explained that consent is pretty much given by The Creator. Agnostics, Atheists, and Apathists who have lived a more “Healthy Minded” existence (as opposed to “Sick Souled” (see William James)) all saw my point but saw life as something you gave rather than something you did to someone else.
It’s pretty much the moral nihilists who agreed with my point.
For what that’s worth.
being (probably) a moral nihilist and a parent, i definitely see your point. i was certainly conflicted on the matter of imposing (or even inflicting) consciousness on an innocent.
on the other hand, if nothing else one is adding to the chaos of the world, and out of chaos comes all things. so…yeah.
but asking someone else why they did or did not have children is extremely rude.
It may not be a surprise, but it strikes me as nosy. If my girlfriend and I decide not to have children, I don’t see why it’s anyone else’s business to know why, especially if we don’t advertise the fact (which I’m doing now, I guess). I will add that I’m not the one who gets these “why don’t you have children” questions. They’re almost exclusively addressed to my girlfriend, which strikes me as a bit sexist.
However, I do agree with you, Kyle, that both decisions, to have or not to have children, have ethical import and merit consideration. Our decision not to conceive is not a slam dunk, morally neutral one, and it probably comes at a spiritual cost that I can see only dimly. But it is our decision.
I thought of this as well. Just because someone does something objectively unethical doesn’t mean it’s any of my business.
That’s a hard thing to live by, at least sometimes, for me.
But maybe that has to do with the whole “pride is the attribute of our fallen nature” idea. We set ourselves up as a god, or the God, and judge people accordingly.
You occasionally here criticism of the poor for bringing children into the world when they can’t afford to give them a good upbringing. What have posters got to say about this attitude?
I’m not actually poster here at the league (I’m more of a placard or broadside), but I dislike that attitude. It evinces a certain arrogance that “we” know better than “they” when “we” don’t have all the facts.
But then….I do have thoughts on whether we should bring new life when we don’t have the means (or will?) to sustain it. If I judge the action in the abstract, isn’t that an implicit judgment of those who engage in the action? Maybe, and if so, then I’m not free from the criticism I mention in the first paragraph. So I’m back at your original question and have a non-answer answer.
For my part I don’t want to see children not getting a good start in life but on the other hand I find the idea of society or the state coercing people not to have children even more unacceptable. – In fact just as bad as not allowing women complete control over their own bodily functions.
Depends on what you mean by “good upbringing.” I would think it unwise and potentially unethical for a couple to attempt procreation when they cannot afford to feed a new child.
I believe that no one should be coerced to have children or to not have children. They should make that decision based on their own ability and desire to be good parents.
I don’t think a certain amount of money disqualifies someone from being a good parent. …Partly because I think society has a certain role in helping poor families (it is a Catholic value …the Option for the poor). But what is good parenting and who should be parents is a complex issue as the parent wannabees may not really know themselves well and may just be doing what they’re programmed or pressured to do by family, society, or other forces which are pervasive but not easily identified.