I was recently sent an email (seriously! I’m not making this up!) in which I was asked:
Dear Jaybird,
My wife has become borderline obsessed with Dragon Age. I don’t really play RPG video games, so I feel a little left out. Also, she has mentioned “elf nookie.” Multiple times. Should I worry?
Yours,
A Human Hireling
Dear Human Hireling,
Let me be the first to reassure you. She is going through what everyone who plays Dragon Age goes through. It’s perfectly natural. All of us who played Dragon Age, when hit upon by the fine Antivan Elf known as Zevran, immediately went for it and learned a great deal about ourselves because of it.
Also, hey, 10 Achievement Points.
Now, when it comes to the best way to respond, you should know that Zevran is someone that you ought to be able to leverage into your own day to day interactions. Adopt a somewhat bad Antonio Banderas accent and work some pick-up lines into your interactions with her.
“I am glad I brought my library card… because I am checking you out.”
If you play your cards right? Maybe she’ll show you what is so awesome about Bioware RPGs.
I hope that helped!
Jaybird
(You can ask Jaybird some questions of your own by writing Jaybird at AskJaybird@gmail.com)
Also, constantly extolling the virtues of Antivan Leather couldn’t hurt either.
However, inviting the missus into a a threesome with a knife-wielding buxom pirate (or a foursome with said pirate, plus a French entertainer with delusions of phophethood) might be taking things too far … or not, depends on your relationship I guess.
I deliberately avoided that one particular option.
It struck me as one of those things that, if I engaged in it, I’d be contributing to the Parents’ Video Game Councils who rail against that sort of thing.
Huh, I never realised that the media watchdogs in the US had such trenchant opposition to leather 😉
Thanks, Jaybird! I knew you were just the guy to help me with this!
I am humbled to think that you would think so!