So I saw Total Recall (2012) today and, of course, it made me think of Total Recall (1990). Is this a good thing or a bad thing, you ask? Well, let’s just say it’s a thing that should be compared to making me think of “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale”… which it did not do. Not particularly.
Well, if you remember “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale”, you’ll remember that, as short stories go, it’s one that could pretty easily have been modified for the stage. You’d only need 4, maybe 5, characters who are skilled at giving monologues and 3, maybe 4, characters who can give their 2 lines and stand around in a uniform. Community theater, here we come! And then people can say “This is the short story that Total Recall is based on!” and then freak out about how there are only, like, two set changes and very little action and it’s mostly people giving speeches.
I digress.
The new movie is starring Colin Farrell (who does a perfectly serviceable job) along with Kate Beckensale (who does a perfectly serviceable job) and, as the main bad guy, the dad from Malcolm in the Middle. Spoilers after the cut but the short review of the movie is this: if you enjoy remembering the Arnold Total Recall, you’ll enjoy this movie because it will make you remember Arnold’s Total Recall. If, however, you’re wondering if you should pay for IMAX 3D evening prices or early morning matinee prices… maybe pay for the matinee. If that’s still too much… well, we’ll hit the high notes (and have Major Spoilers) after the cut.
When I say that the movie makes you remember the first one, I’m not kidding. They make jokes about whether Quaid wants to go to Mars, Quaid’s wife is a rival operative, when Quaid goes through customs there is an overweight redhaired lady who is first in line (and who is staying, of course, for “two weeks”), there’s the scene where Quaid hears that he’s still back in the chair at Rekall, and Quaid asks the question “if I’m not me, then who the hell am I?”
However, there are thematic differences. It takes place on Earth rather than on Mars. At the end of the first Total Recall, it was possible to have an argument over whether or not the movie “really” happened or whether it was the module “Blue Sky On Mars” that was mentioned in the opening segment… but this one? Yeah, it’s really happening. Well, there is a “Rekall” billboard that features prominently in the last few seconds… but, yeah. It’s really happening.
It’s also, well, *DARKER* than the Arnold movie. Instead of giving a feeling of “gritty”, we instead have a feeling of “not as much fun”. It feels like the movie is making political points when it discusses “The Resistance” while the first one didn’t really.
That said, if you go, pay attention to the speech given by John Cho at Rekall and to the dialog with the criminally underutilized Bill Nighy. The latter will make you remember Quato and the former will actually make you remember the short story for a few moments.
At the end of the day, the very core of the movie contains a similar core to the other Total Recall… but, like a third boob, while the movie looks good, it’s kinda unnecessary.
That closing line wins the internet.
What if you haven’t seen the original movie? Is it worth seeing this one?
The original Total Recall was, at the time, HOLY COW I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW RATED ‘R’ THIS MOVIE IS!!!!!!
Now, I suspect, it could be shown mostly uncut on Spike. They’d probably have to bleep the ‘F’ bombs and pixelate the boobage but, otherwise…
Anyway, if you’ve not seen the original, I can easily imagine enjoying this one but missing a large number of inside jokes. If violence bugs you, though, this movie is less violent insofar as the majority of the bad guys are robots… So, sure. Cut off their limbs, cut them in half, it’s all good. It’s just a robot (and, more importantly, it’s a robot that *LOOKS* like a robot). So there’s violence of the “against robots” and the “explosions” kind, there are a handful of people getting shot/killed (but nowhere *NEAR* as many as in the original), the swearing is toned down for the most part, and, yes, brief nudity.
Now, if all of the above is immaterial, and you’re just wondering about whether the story is good instead of whether the accoutrements might be offensive… it’s a decent story that will leave you guessing and you’ll have a good time.
It’s just that the original was more fun and the short story is a lot better.
If, however, that don’t matter? It’s a decent sci-fi action flick with a better script than most of that genre. I’ve regretted seeing other movies a lot more. (I could even say that I had fun watching this one.)