Doom!

“When should I let my kids watch Conan the Barbarian?”

Since 1982, this has been the eternal question.

I’m not a parent, myself, so I don’t know that my answer of “let them tape it after you’ve gone to bed the way I did” is acceptable. (From what I understand, that’s not how it works anymore anyway.)

More than that, I understand that we’re supposed to be all touchy-feely and watch the movie with the kids in case they have any questions. (“The riddle of steel is, um… Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “STEEL!!!”) Now, of course, you may come to the conclusion that you won’t be able to answer the questions yet. (“This. This you can trust.”) What do you do then?

I submit: Fangbone! Third-Grade Barbarian.

This is a book we saw in our local Safeway, of all places. We had been discussing what books we wanted to get for one of the nephews who was reading at grade level, but because of his older brother and all of his adult influences, had a much higher interest level. Well, this book couldn’t be more of what we wanted.

Fangbone is a barbarian child from a barbarian tribe who ends up in Our Own Universe. Eastwood Elementary, to be exact. 3rd Grade. He’s got a weapon of ultimate evil that he has to keep from the wrong hands (it’s kinda the reason he got here) and now he has to put together an army using only the tools available to him: his wits, his 3rd grade classmates, and the hot wings in the fridge.

It works on several levels: it’s a fish out of water story. It’s a Conan parody. It’s an adventure story. It’s comedy. It’s a comic book. (It’s also got two sequels). It’s a good book for your 2nd-3rd grader who isn’t quite ready to tape Conan after you’ve gone to bed. Most importantly, you’ll enjoy reading it as well… and it’ll be relatively easy answering any questions the kids may have about why you’re laughing so hard.

So that’s my recommendation for you this week.