I’ve made some references, here and there, to the Very Secret Diaries of the Lord of the Rings, but, really, they deserve a post of their own. The VSDs were written by a very insightful woman named Cassandra Claire in order to explain the hidden motivations of the main characters of The Fellowship of the Ring, which are threefold:
- They are all obsessed with sex.
- For most of them, this specifically means with hobbits.
- Even more specifically, Frodo.
This is the key to understanding why, for instance, even though Arwen is the fairest of all the children of Illuvatar, Aragorn likes her to walk around on her knees and wear furry slippers. Also why Boromir was pretending to be so interested in Frodo’s Ring. And the real purpose of the palantiri: to let Sauron get to know potential dates before revealing he’s only an eyeball.
Best of all, they are perfectly safe for work, provided there’s no one around to wonder why you’re giggling so hard.
These are very much gigglesnort-worthy.