So I had my first dream/nightmare about the baby’s birth. I tend not to remember my dreams and, when I do, it tends to just be the middle and maybe the end; they always seem to start in medias res. Anyway, here is how it went down:
I was rushing through the hospital entrance, where I immediately heard the sounds typically associated with childbirth: one person screaming “PUSH!” and another person screaming bloody murder. As I speed through the automatic doors, I look through the first door on my left and see an anteroom and, through that, the typical Hollywood labor room scene. I say “typical Hollywood” because there was no blood or poop, two things I am told make frequent appearances during labor. I push through the anteroom and into this second room just in time to watch the baby slip effortlessly out of Zazzy. I manage to grab and squeeze her hand before the final toe emerges so that no one can ever deny I was “there”. The nurse (it all apparently happened so quickly neither I nor the OB/GYN really made it) took the baby, wiped it down, and placed it in a warming tray (the type they showed us during our hospital tour which they should really rename because all it made me do was think of old McDonalds food). Zazzy promptly passes out and everyone leaves the room, leaving me alone with the baby who is standing up in its warming tray staring bullets through me. It was a girl.
So… that’s how it works, right?!?!