“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Kazzy and Mayonnaise,

We miss you!  Thank you for the e-mail.  Thank you for taking care of us on the other days. Is Mayonnaise 1 year old?  Does Mayonnaise go to Pre-school?  We love your baby!  Does Mayonnaise cry a lot?  Thank you for the email.  Does Mayonnaise wear shoes?  Does baby Mayonnaise have a cradle with his name?

Does Mayonnaise take baths?  Does Mayonnaise go to bed a lot?  Does Mayonnaise watch TV a lot?  Is Mayonnaise 1 1/2?  Does Mayonnaise like to wear snuggly pajamas?  Does Mayonnaise wear slippers to bed?  Does Mayonnaise eat cupcakes?

We love you, Mayonnaise!!!

Your Class”

Ya know, I talk a lot about privilege here, sometimes more successfully than others.  And I’m usually quick to acknowledge the white, male, straight, cis, middle-class, and other forms of privilege I enjoy.  But this?  Having Mayonnaise at home and seeing this crew at work?  Well, that is a whole ‘nother form of privilege… one I am all too happy to enjoy.


One man. Two boys. Twelve kids.


  1. When I first started substitute teaching, I expected to get mostly high school assignments. Instead, it was mostly grade school. I had no idea what to do with a room full of first graders. Yet as I think of maybe going back to school to be a teacher, I’ve given K-5 some serious consideration.

    It’s really a gooey feeling (gooey in a good way) when I’m walking through the Walmart and some kid whose class I subbed at three weeks prior tugs at his mom and says “That’s Mr. Truman! He was our sub!!” with great excitement.

    I had it happen once with a girl that I had actually struggled a great deal with and had gotten in trouble (well, she got herself in trouble, but you know what I mean).

    I can only imagine how it must feel when it’s a class of your own kids.

    • If you get enough of those girls in trouble, it could be a class of your own kids.

      • First graders, dude. First graders!

        Actually, there was a middle school girl that I sorta connected with, in a way (not THAT way!). She was in remedial, and I did a lot of subbing for remedial (“resource”) and special ed, so she was one of the students I got most often. She had a terrible “permanent file” but was nothing but a great kid for me. I didn’t know if there was any sort of schoolgirl crush thing going on, but I got the sense that there might have been and I was very (harmlessly!) flattered.

        At one point, I did the math, and discovered that she was just old enough to be Child #1, had a pregnancy scare turned out differently way back in the day.

        Made me feel very old.

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