Spoilers!

Living without cable, it pretty much means that I am out of the loop when it comes to movie trailers. I may see a bunch when I actually show up on time for a movie for once, but, for the most part, I have no idea what’s coming down the pike except for the Really, Really Really big movies that are coming.

For example: The Man Of Steel. Now, I knew pretty much diddly squat about this movie. I knew that it was an attempt at a reboot. I knew that we were going to be starting on Krypton, putting the baby in a rocket, and pressing the red button. I knew that Superman would be hitchhiking in what looked like Alaska. And I knew that his Shield was a lot more metalic than last time.

So then I find myself going through the drive-thru at Carl’s Jr looking forward to a breakfast sandwich where I look to the left and see…

(warning: contains major plot points for Man of Steel)

Large sodas with Superman (fair enough), Jor-El (okay, we’ll give you that one), and Zod.

Freakin’ Zod.

Jaybird

Jaybird is Birdmojo on Xbox Live and Jaybirdmojo on Playstation's network. He's been playing consoles since the Atari 2600 and it was Zork that taught him how to touch-type. If you've got a song for Wednesday, a commercial for Saturday, a recommendation for Tuesday, an essay for Monday, or, heck, just a handful a questions, fire off an email to AskJaybird-at-gmail.com

28 Comments

  1. I know you’re all tired of hearing me complain about this, but Wrfhf Shpxvat Puevfg, the last thing we need is yet another series of superhero movies. When will people finally stop paying to see them and force Hollywood to try something at least halfway creative?

    • I will fall back on my theory that superhero movies are an attempt to wrestle with mythology, morality, and so on in a medium that is allowed to evolve. When it comes to Religion, for the most part, we can’t really change *THAT* much (though there was a major realignment with regards to divorce in the 90’s and the upcoming realignment about “traditional marriage” will have the most friction hinge, superficially anyway, on stuff said in the canon).

      If we want to process right and wrong using religious language, there are a lot established arguments and, sadly, a lot of dogs in the manger.

      One of the areas in which we can explore these concepts without starting up a culture war is in the realm of superheroes. That’s a mythology we can fiddle around with.

      Of course, sometimes that means that we get movies like Superman IV: The Quest For Peace.

      • Whatever one might say about Superman IV, at least it was better than Superman III.

      • Mythology, morality, highly choreographed fight scenes, and blowing shit up.

        • Mike, you need to unlock your inner imp. Didn’t you blow shit up as a kid?

          • Raise your hand if you’ve ever participated in a “fireworks war.”

            Mike, I say we head on down to the Tennessee-Alabama Fireworks (Beer, Cigarettes, Gas, Fireworks! What could go wrong?), buy us some bottle rockets, roman candles, smoke bombs, and fire crackers, find us a nice big field, and go to war! Pace Patrick, this is not your inner imp, it’s your inner redneck.

            Buy the way, , here is the evidence that I could not make up the Tennessee-Alabama Fireworks. Note that this giant fireworks warehouse store has a gas station in front and a sign for “cold beer.” The cigarettes are probably listed off camera to the right. Sometimes I really love the South.

          • But it’s not even really getting blown up anymore. Not even as models.

            I just saw an ad for After Earth, and it looks like the same goddam CGI shots from EVERY SF/ACTION MOVIE NOW…oh look, he’ll leap off the cliff and the camera will “follow”…yep, there’s the swarm of beasties…GAH

            I don’t mean to be an old man about it – but in my day, sonny, when we blew shit up in a movie, it got really, for real, blowed up real good.

            There’s some lizard-brain entertainment to be found in that.

            But you won’t find it in Uncanny Valley III .

          • I’ve blown shit up. I’ve watched other people blow shit up. I’ve even enjoyed movies about shit blowing up.

            When I go to watch a movie that isn’t about blowing shit up, but still every trailer they show is 100% about blowing shit up, I think it’s too much of a moderately OK thing.

  2. [Spoiler] is mentioned specifically in the TV ads, too.

    Then again, given that [spoiler] is/happens in the earlier movie(s), it’s not all that shocking. It’s only a spoiler if you knew it what it is.

    It’s kinda like the trailer for Ender’s Game where they give away the entire ending, but only if you’ve read the book and what it is. Otherwise, it’s just… something in the trailer.

    • Having finally seen the trailer for Ender’s Game, I am much less hopeful that I will like the movie. I have a feeling it is going to be very similar to Starship Troopers regarding the quality of translation to the big screen.

      • I have a feeling it’ll be more like the scientology crap.

        • Nah, there’s an actual budget, and the camera’s not tilted at all! 😉

  3. Living without cable

    We’ve been doing that for nearly two years now. We live in a bowl in the mountains; the only broadcast station we get is PBS.

    The election without the bobble heads and zero political ads rocked. And with good internet service, don’t really feel like I missed anything worthwhile.

    I think this is a very, very good thing for one’s sanity, health, and heart. I highly recommend it.

  4. Um, I know you haven’t seen any commercials for it, but Zod’s been in every trailer for MoS.

  5. I somehow wandered onto some old comment board somewhere where people were arguing about earlier posters offering spoilers. Someone responded by pointing out that so-and-so was named as a main character on the movie’s IMDB page. To which someone else responded that he had been avoiding IMDB for just that reason. All of which made me want to scream.

    How surprised can anyone be by a 70-year-old book?

    • Jaybird rot13’d something that I posted about the BBC’s Sherlock to avoid any potential howls.

      The ep was based on a Holmes story from 1893.

      1893.

      Seriously, once we pass the century mark, the spoiler statute of limitations has got to be over.

      • Maybe, if it was perceived to be telling exactly from the source material. But when you start adapting things and moving them to new eras and tweaking the stories, sometimes people want to be surprised by what’s old and what’s new.

      • It’s tricky. After all, the Holmes stories may be old, but everyone has a first time they read them – or Shakespeare, Agatha Christie, Superman, H.H. Munro, or Sandman – so anything can be a spoiler.

        Maybe if it’s so ingrained in pop culture that it’s become unavoidable. So The Monkey’s Paw, A Sound of Thunder, Soylent Green, and To Serve Man are fair game. Kind of a “Simpsons did it!” rule.

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