Yesterday, it appeared that The Great Man’s friend, colleague, and (apparently) management consultant Touchy-Feely-David-From-Atlanta (hereinafter TFDFA) was trying to make nice with me and get my ideas on how to improve the firm. Since I’m still not certain of whether I want to even stay here any longer than it takes me to find new work (or whether I want to accept offers of work that are on the table now), this feels like kind of a charade. I like the guy and it’s an interesting coincidence that we share the same birthday, and if he can follow through and deliver on everything he’s talking about, then this could be a really fun place to work. To his credit, also, he is realistic about what he is up against and admits that trying to get The Great Man to change his ways will be difficult, if not impossible.
It seems he has a “Colonel Sanders” idea; tear down all the existing structures, buy out the right to use The Great Man’s name and likeness, and use him as a figurehead. It worked great for both the real Colonel Sanders and the company that has made his salty chicken ubiquitous.
In order for me to stay here at The Law Office Of The Great Man (which is looking rather unlikely right about now) things must improve, TFDFA involvement or no. I’ve been caught holding my dick one time too many on cases that have been thrown at me here because nothing has been worked up correctly, the calendar controls here are frightening, and I am still unfamiliar enough with Tennessee procedures and practices to need my hand held. That just happened this morning, in fact. Apparently when you ask for a court date in Chancery Court, that translates to what I would have called an ex parte hearing in the judge’s chambers. Now, this is nothing unusual for me; I’ve been used to having to wait an hour or more after the announced time of a hearing for a judge to actually take the bench. So I’m standing out in front of the dark courtroom for twenty minutes until the other lawyer calls me and asks where I am and then I need to beg the clerk’s permission to let me in to the offices.
Everyone else in the whole damn State of Tennessee just knew that was how it worked, so it never occurred to them to explain it to me. Kind of like trying to drive from point A to point B in Tennessee — you need to just know that “Highway 321 North” actually goes east, and you need to just know when those painted yellow lines in the middle of the road are only suggestions, and you need to just know to turn right on the unmarked dirt road where Grimface’s Funeral Home used to be.
Anyway, back to the matter at hand. My suspicion is that if things do not work out here, TFDFA may be trying to recruit me to work for him. TFDFA is a very pleasant fellow and it does seem that he and I are of one mind about how a law firm should be run and how lawsuits should be handled. He agrees with me about decreasing the amount of chaos and tightening the cash flow issues here. He agrees with me that we need to cut down on our administrative staff and shares my apprehension that certain staff members are sacred cows, and he solicited my advice on where to trim. (It’s uncomfortable having to pick out a person to be let go, although I had given the issue some thought during my weekend-long stint as the figurehead managing attorney.)
And, he invited me to come down to his firm in Atlanta for a day to see how it operates and to meet his people, right before I dropped him off at the airport so he could fly himself and his dog back home to Buckhead in his personal jet. (Ugh. Atlanta.) Of course, for all the we’re-in-this-together, let’s-build-a-team, TL-you’re-the-key-to-the-whole-operation stuff, there is still an appreciable chance that mine is the head being lined up for the chopping block. While that seems unlikely today, it does seem to be about the speed which things are running. Southerners are very charming as a group — and “charm” is, by definition, initially appealing but inherently deceptive.
Well, at least the family is getting along better and we’re making plans to do things together while my folks are still down here.
