I’m in the market for a new paralegal. So that means reading lots of cover letters and resumes. The quality of these coming from our craigslist.com advertisement is abysmally low. There are some good applicants out there, but their salary requirements exceed the budget we have for this position.
I’m growing afraid that I’m going to wind up saying to my paralegal, “I’d like to depose the plaintiff and his company’s president, so write a letter for your signature inquiring about good dates; let them know that next Tuesday would work best for me,” and this is what will go out on the firm’s letterhead to opposing counsel:
“SUP PEEPLZ, WE NEED 2 DEPOZ YR DOOD &N THE CO. PREZ SO CN U PLZ GET EM 2 R CRIB NXT TOOSDY. K THX BYE.”
Some of the cover letters I’ve read recently lead me to believe that these applicants would think such a message to be the height of professionalism and courtesy. Argh.
I used to do a little para-legalizing in DC back in the day. The day being 1973. We would Shepardize by hand, using actual, physical books. My personal specialty was getting documents out of Congress and the executive branch earlier than their official release date. I can write, but I doubt you’re paying enough. I have expensive tastes.