Lain cries. A lot. Clancy and I debate whether or not there is colic involved. The threshold is something like three hours a day three or more days a week. Are you kidding me? Make it four hours five days a week, then maybe it’s close. That’s my position. Clancy’s position is that it seems like her bouts of crying last longer than they do.
Now, fortunately for me, I tend to be very patient with the crying baby (more on this at a later date, perhaps). It doesn’t bother me as much as it seems like it should. But I still don’t like the baby crying, especially if it’s indicative of there being something wrong.
Clancy got a hold of a book about napping and we wondered if maybe that was the reason she was so constantly cranky. The book said that little ones tend to have 90-minute awake cycles, so you try to put her down every ninety minutes for a nap. It seems to have actually helped. But it hasn’t been easy. She is becoming really, really reluctant to nap. Almost like it was before we started this.
The routine is that I take her upstairs and hold her and sing to her. She spends the first part crying. But I sing all the same. It’s certainly easier on the arm than singing while walking her around. And, around the 90-minute mark, she used to rather suddenly get very tired. And she was in a better mood when awake. I was getting some time to do some packing. So it was really working out.
For some reason, though, she is fighting the naps harder now than before. It’s now taking 30-45 minutes a go, sometimes. Which really, really disrupts my day. In some ways more than the crying baby, because the crying baby was kind of a constant.
Anyhow, my brain has increasingly geared towards the 90-minute wake cycle. Even when she’s asleep for the night, I stop after 90 minutes and think “Isn’t there something I need to be doing?”
man that sucks. it will get better though. just can’t tell you when.
Oh, that really does suck. And it really does get better.
We’re sleep-training Squirrel right now, so I feel your pain a bit.
Thanks. This wasn’t actually meant to be a “pity me” post. I mostly found the 90-minutes thing to be interesting. It just changes the structure of my day. Though, oddly, it’s been getting worse rather than better since we’ve started this. Maybe it’s the broken swing. Maybe she is getting wise to this whole “It’s a trap! You’re trying to get me to go to sleep!” thing.
(Btw, check your blindeddoc email.)
Done
I mostly found the 90-minutes thing to be interesting. It just changes the structure of my day.
Kids do that in a variety of ways. Once upon a time I could head off to the office at my leisure, and head home when I was done with everything for the day. Now I have to leave home at a set time to get my daughter(s) to school on time, and I have to leave the office at a set time to pick them up from their various after-school activities. I can rarely work at home evenings/weekends because if the kids and my wife interrupt me only once an hour each that’s an interruption every 15 minutes, and I can’t work in 15 minute increments.
I find myself looking forward to the time when it’s just my wife and me again (only 7 years away!), but of course I know damn well that I’m going to miss them like hell, and after all of these years of moaning that my house is too noisy I’m going to complain that it’s too quiet.
Sleep-training? They don’t come knowing how to sleep???
As I read more about babies, I worry more about our species. I recently learned that babies under 6 months are at risk for “positional asphyxiation”, which means that if sitting upright or in other positions the lack of strength in their head and neck muscles can lead to them literally suffocating under the weight of their own bulbous head. SERIOUSLY!?!?! For the first six months of life, our young are not only threatened by damn near every other animal that moves, but also by their own giant head? HOLY CRAP!!!
Yes, yes, I am well aware that our extended childhood is precisely the reason our species is as advanced as it is. I get all that. BUT SIX MONTHS DURING WHICH ITS HEAD IS BASICALLY A PUNCH LINE TO A BAD JOKE?!?!
Most babies really aren’t at much risk for that length of time, and have good head control much earlier than six months.
Well, that is good to know. Our species is still probably the worst in terms of how quickly are young can fend for themselves but, again, this is what we owe our greatness to.
Now, granted, it’s my job to be amazed at every little thing, but Lain has amazing neck muscles. She was able to hold her head up between two and three months and add we approach four she is able to look up at me when I hold her (which is more than a slightly incline).
‘Roids.
You said something about rubbing her eyes up above; are you swaddling her for sleep? It’s a really good method for helping little babies to know when they’re supposed to sleep. You can use a thin blanket, or you can buy velcro swaddling clothes. Very young babies punch and scratch themselves in the face, thus waking themselves up, and swaddling prevents that movement. When she’s old enough, she’ll let you know when she doesn’t want to be swaddled anymore.
“The Happiest Baby on the Block” had good tips for the fourth trimester, but by far the best was Swaddling.
Why did my comment go here? I don’t know why. I’m reposting below, and you may delete these if you like.
i’ve always found it useful to keep in mind that all media aimed at new parents is largely paranoid, parasitical nonsense.
Yea, someone who obviously hates babies WOULD say that. WHY DO YOU HATE BABIES?!?!
If you don’t have a rocking chair upstairs, consider getting one. Our kids both seemed to find it more soothing than being held sitting still. To be honest, I always found it kind of soothing for me, too.
In our new house, we hope to have a Laz-e-boy in the bedroom. If not, it’ll at least be on the same floor (since it’s a 1-story house).
Junior has never been a sleeper. He will refuse to nap, and can sometimes be found passed out near his toy box. I know he’s tired, but he’s unwilling to admit it. As a mommy who enjoys a nice afternoon nap herself, this is especially difficult for me.
This is closest to our experience. There’s always a blaze of glory before she finally succumbs.
A new phrase has entered our vocabulary: “She’s too tired to let herself fall sleep.”
Until, As Tim alludes, exhaustion sets in. Which doesn’t happen as much as it used to.
There are no firm schedules at this point. She’s changing fast, all the time. You just have to go with the flow for the first few months.
Do you have a baby swing? Worked great with our kids (but of course your kid ain’t mine).
I think I’ve asked Will that before. It is an amazing device.
We had one. It died last week, alas.
Did it help?
Jeez, and if you buy a new one now, that’s one more thing to pack, but if you don’t that’s just more crying to put up with. Nice catch-22 you’re in there, Captain Yossarian.
That’s packing is less of an issue than the expense. A income situation took a turn to the precarious and we’re pathologically scared of spending anything on anything unnecessary until things get ironed out.
That said, I am going to have a hard time without that swing. Baby spent 45-minutes alternating between crying, yawning, and rubbing her eyes. That swing is better at putting her to sleep than I am, I think.
In my personal experience, swings are the absolute best for putting babies and toddlers to sleep. We were part of a daycare co-op for a while, and after lunch we’d put the critters down for a nap. Most of them we could take to the swing set in the backyard, plop ’em in, swing ’em for 5 or 10 minutes, and they’d zonk out. Doesn’t work for all kids, but most of them.
I hear you about the money, though. Too bad it’s not garage sale season. But if you’re moving to, or drive through while moving, a bigger city, maybe hit a kids’ resale store? You might be able to pick one up cheap.
And it beats swinging them in the car seat ’til your arm falls off, eh?
“We were part of a daycare co-op for a while…”
Hippy.
Oh, yeah, there was a fairly substantial divide between the more hippy and less hippy parents. Everyone got along well enough, there was very little acrimony, but there were some deep differences of opinion. And you can probably guess which side I was on.
Are they anything like the baby alien ships?
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12989686&CAWELAID=1395228509&pla=plab&cagpspn=pla
Do you have a wind-up swing? My infants cried a LOT less once I got one.
i’ll fourth/fifth the call for the mecha-swing. it seemed to help a lot.
Oh, man, am I so sorry. I went through this with my first; so bad the pediatrician strongly I recommended staying home and not returning to work, putting the baby in daycare as I’d planned. She (the pediatrician) called me last year, she wanted to see how the baby had grown up. She told me that I am one of two mothers she’d advised to stay home during her career because of the infant’s needs.
Nursing? Breast-milk fed? Bowels like shaving cream from a can? Then the complex proteins in cows milk (even for breast-fed babies, from the mother’s diet) might be be contributing; eliminating it was one of the things that got us through. (Goats milk is a good alternative.)
Regular sleep cycles helped, too. I’m not a very scheduled sort of person; I like to say I have ‘calendar issues.’ Clock issues, too. But when it came to nap time and bed time and meal time, I became a freakin’ tyrant because it was so necessary for our family’s well being and peace of mind.
I feel you sleepiness. But if his/her bms are light and airy, look at those complex milk proteins.
You said something about rubbing her eyes up above; are you swaddling her for sleep? It’s a really good method for helping little babies to know when they’re supposed to sleep. You can use a thin blanket, or you can buy velcro swaddling clothes. Very young babies punch and scratch themselves in the face, thus waking themselves up, and swaddling prevents that movement. When she’s old enough, she’ll let you know when she doesn’t want to be swaddled anymore.
“The Happiest Baby on the Block” had good tips for the fourth trimester, but by far the best was Swaddling.
We swaddle her on the overnight, but not for naps. It tends to bring out her ornery side.