Why I Will Not Run For President

Following in the wake of George Clooney, who seemed to feel it necessary to explain why he would not try to be a Democratic Ronald Reagan (not that I’d heard of much interest in him as a politician), I too shall offer my self-important reasons explaining why I will not be running for President in the foreseeable future.

First of all, my political views do not sufficiently conform to the constellation of views necessary to obtain one or the other major party’s nominations. Were I somehow to be nominated, I would lack a sufficient reliable base of political allies in Congress and elsewhere with whom I could forge a governing coalition. This would render me impotent to do aught but argue the merits of my proposals, and we all know that’s just not how things get done. Thus, I would be condemning myself to ineffectiveness. The country deserves better and that’s four years worth of a beating I personally don’t need.

Second, I lack experience in executive office. I think that is an important prerequisite for acquiring the skill set necessary to effectively discharge the office. I lack experience in legislative office as well, and while the public seems unable to distinguish between the two, the matter of actual experience is important. The duties of the President are too important to leave in the hands of someone who has no substantial experience. Such a person, and I would be very vulnerable to this, would risk being co-opted by one or more subordinates. The nation deserves better. To the extent I seek public office at all, it is a judicial office to which I aspire. Such a position would match my skill set and experience much more closely.

And finally, I have no desire to live my life in the manner which a President is forced to live. To be the butt of political jokes and cartoons is perhaps not so bad, but to have one’s daily life scrutinized, monitored, guarded, and the subject of rumors and gossip is not an attractive way to live. Sure, the house is nice and the plane would be really cool. But it’s expensive to feed yourself and your family, there is never any real privacy, any stray remark or musing or conversation is analyzed and so there is little room for intellectual growth. Without the ability to have ample time alone in which to develop my thoughts, access to reading material to stimulate them, and friends and family with whom to develop those thoughts, I could not be the master of my own mind nor confident that I could come up with any of the ideas needed which would separate leading from mere administration.

That, and Washington is really hot and humid in the summertime. So I’m with the Cloon — someone else can be President instead of me.