Geck, wo is mein Auto?

Here’s how I imagine this bit of world-class struggling went down:

English Soccer Fan: “Scuse me! ‘Allo, officer. We’re from England and not really whatcher could call familiar with the streets here in Koln; an’ we thought the tube in London was ‘ard!”

German Police Officer: “Yah? Haff I zome English, yes. I vill help you, und danke fur not attacking the Swedes, yah.”

English Soccer Fan: “Yeh. Ears the thing. We drove ‘here from Brussels, see? Then we parked our car on ‘Einbahnstrasse’ and walked to the match. Now we can’t find Einbahnstrasse. D’you know where it is? ‘Ey! Quit laughing, ye! Wha’s so funny?”