Coffee

I like coffee. I like how it tastes; I like the caffeine buzz; I like its warmth; I like the social aspect of drinking a cup of coffee with someone. Over the past few days, with the time crunch imposed by the depositions, I’ve been drinking a lot of it and I’m going cold turkey for at least a few days so that my caffeine tolerance will decrease. But I’ll miss it while it’s gone.

And I do not drink my coffee at the temperatures reccomended by the National Coffee Association, which is 205 degrees. Water boils at 212 degrees. If you did what this National Coffee Association said to do, you would brew coffee at a temperature seven degrees shy of boiling and then drink that coffee “immediately.”

So consider this as an experiment. Put some water in a pot and put a meat thermometer in it; when the water reaches 205 degrees, stick a straw in there and take a pull. Doesn’t sound like a good idea to you? I thought not. How about this — take that nearly-boiling water and pour it on your genitals. Oh, that sounds like a worse idea? You keep that thought experiment the next time someone mentions the McDonald’s coffee case.

Burt Likko

Pseudonymous Portlander. Homebrewer. Atheist. Recovering litigator. Recovering Republican. Recovering Catholic. Recovering divorcé. Recovering Former Editor-in-Chief of Ordinary Times. House Likko's Words: Scite Verum. Colite Iusticia. Vivere Con Gaudium.