Being Heard: A Very Bad Push Poll

If you are registered to vote, press 1. Otherwise, press 2.

— 1

If you plan to vote in November, press 1. Otherwise, press 2.

— 1

In the election for [one of the positions open this cycle], press the number of the candidate you intend to vote for. (1) Democrat Patrick Weaver. (2) Republican Earl Madden. (3) Libertarian John Riley.

–1

Do you feel (1) Very strongly, (2) somewhat strongly, or (3) not very strongly.

–2

I am going to read some statements about each of the candidates and then ask you if they make you more likely to vote for Patrick Weaver, Earl Madden, or if it makes no difference to you.

First, Democrat Patrick Weaver supports increasing state building regulations in order to prevent fires like the one that took out 6th street in Summit. Republican Earl Madden would would allow these fires to continue to happen in order to keep taxes low on the wealthy. Does this make you more likely to support (1) Patrick Weaver, (2) Earl Madden, or (3) does it make no difference to you.

— (Pause) (smells smoke outside) 1

Next question, Democrat Patrick Weaver supports public education. He is a product of Arapaho public schools and would give teachers and faculty the resources they need to educate our children. Weaver would put an end to the practice of hiring non-certified teachers for permanent and substitute positions. Republican Earl Madden would demolish our public school system with a complicated voucher system only available to the state’s wealthiest children. He would fire our highly trained, highly effective teachers and turn our classrooms over to non-unionized, untrained replacements. Does this make you more likely to support (1) Patrick Weaver, (2) Earl Madden, or (3) does it make no difference to you?

— (Pause) (What was that about non-certified substitutes?) (People who support vouchers want to do what?) 2

Next question, Democrat Patrick Weaver supports broadening our sexual predator database to include more crimes. He would force the convicts to send a notification to every neighbor in a one-mile radius whenever they move and would make them pay for it. Republican Earl Weaver has expressed concern for these convict’s civil liberties and the administrative costs of expanding the database. He would refuse to stand up to the Jerry Sanduskys right here in Arapaho and allow them to move next door to you without notifying you. Does this make you more likely to support (1) Patrick Weaver, (2) Earl Madden, or (3) does it make no difference to you?

— (smells smoke fuming from ears) 2

After having heard these things about each of the candidates, if the election were held today, press the number of the candidate you would vote for. (1) Democrat Patrick Weaver. (2) Republican Earl Madden. (3) Libertarian John Riley.

— 1

Do you feel (1) Very strongly, (2) somewhat strongly, or (3) not very strongly.

— 3

A few things. This is the third “poll” I have received so far, each for a different race. The first I mentioned here. The second was much like the first, except on a different race. The first one didn’t really nudge me in either direction, though I think it was for the Democrat. The second one nudged me from the Democrat to undecided. Both of those were reasonably fair and balanced, though. This one was a robocall and obviously of a different nature.

I’ll still probably vote for Weaver. My biggest complaint about him, at least up until this call (which may have been from his campaign, may have been from the Party, or could be a super-slick double-fake from Madden!) was that Weaver’s campaign web site includes absolutely no “issues” section. I voted for Madden in a crowded Republican primary, on the basis that his opponents were all trying to out-right-wing one another.

Before the first question, they asked a couple things about who I would be voting for in a couple other races. Between the first question and second mentioned question, there were actually two more of a more local nature (one on taxes, the other on unions and resource development). One had me pressing 1 and the other had me pressing 2. They were tilted, but there were no mentions of Jerry Sandusky. (Yeah, they went there.) Notably, on the one that I sided with Weaver, Weaver is running to the right of Madden. Like the previous polls, they only asked about or mentioned the Libertarian when asking who I was voting for. Also like the previous polls, they did not mention Gary Johnson as a presidential candidate even though they mentioned the libertarian for the other races.

Anyway, I think they just called the wrong guy with this one.