I Have An Impressive Daughter

No, I’m not going to become a daddyblogger, but I did have to share this monumental feat:

Lain discharged a rear projectile that darted out 57 inches.

Fortunately, I have a dog, and so I have things to clean poopy off a carpet.

Will Truman

Will Truman is the Editor-in-Chief of Ordinary Times. He is also on Twitter.

19 Comments

  1. Actually, perhaps the most impressive part of it is how little got onto the carpet. Most of it landed on a diaper box. It’s like she was aiming.

  2. 57 inches?

    For some reason I have a picture in my mind where they have competitions about projectile pooping.

  3. I love that you said 57″ instead of “almost five feet “. I mean you had to use a tape measure, right?

  4. Good lord, I bet she was relieved after that.

    And there’s a story to embarrass her in front of her friends when she’s a teen.

    • Quite so. She is very sensitive to tummy distress to begin with. Clancy and I lovedthe ewhite cap story 🙂

  5. You measured? Well, I guess I would be curious too.
    You’ll need those supplies again when she is potty training.

    • Greatest moment in potty training:

      Our daughter had reached the point of knowing she was supposed to go in the white bowl (which would then be dumped into the toilet), but hadn’t yet learned to distinguish between white bowls. So one day she walked up to us, my white ball cap in hand, proudly showing that she’d pooped in the (sort of) right place.

      • Of course this is kept as blackmail, is it not? As will be Lain’s “achievement.”

      • A truly brilliant child would have held out for a Dodger cap.

        • I’d say Yankees, but I understand where you’re coming from. And for the record, it was a Eugene Emeralds cap.

  6. The is a perfect, or at least maybe acceptable, place for me to announce something I found out last night that I wanted people here to know about only because I’m too proud not to want y’all to: that, in all seriousness and non-facetiousness, I have a (IMO) very impressive sister. An ABD doctoral candidate in English at Notre Dame, she was offered yesterday a position as Assistant Professor of 18th-Century English Literature at the University of Mississippi starting in August 2013. We are a pretty proud family today. Thanks for indulging me.

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