I Like My Cocktails Like I Like My Women

  • 1 oz. gin
  • 1 oz. Campari
  • 2 oz. squeezed grapefruit juice (pref. ruby red)
  • 2 oz. tonic water (or club soda with a bit of simple syrup)
  • dash of bitters
  • ice, ice baby

Serve in highball glass. Garnish, if so inclined, with peel from grapefruit.

One full grapefruit should yield six to eight ounces of juice, depending on how heavy it is with juice and how thoroughly you squeeze it.

Fresh-squeezed juice is so¬†much better than the stuff from a bottle or concentrate, isn’t it? If that’s all you can get at any particular time of year, you make do. But summer means ripe grapefruit and damn do I love grapefruit.

I’d have taken a picture but… I drank it all before the thought occurred to me. Sorry.

Burt Likko

Pseudonymous Portlander. Homebrewer. Atheist. Recovering litigator. Recovering Republican. Recovering Catholic. Recovering divorcé. Recovering Former Editor-in-Chief of Ordinary Times. House Likko's Words: Scite Verum. Colite Iusticia. Vivere Con Gaudium.


    • I’m hoping that the owners pursue their plan to give first and second offense suspensions to all Biogenesis players, leading to a work stoppage that cancels the rest of the season. At this point, it’s the best-case scenario.

  1. Here is the joke that I have tried to adopt for myself:

    I like my coffee the way I like my women:


  2. You are absolutely correct about the grapefruit juice. You should totally tend bar at leaguefest 2014.

  3. What do you call it?

    Also, the title of this post, were it written by Russell, would mean a dry night for all.

    • I would call it the Lance Armstrong. See, it’s really an Americano — on steroids.

  4. I’m curious about the connection to how you like your women. Icy? A tad bitter? Freshly squeezed?

    Covered in bees?

    • You have met Ms. Likko, so I’m sure you’re aware that only one of these is possibly descriptive (depending on Burt’s friskiness at the moment).

      • The one you’re thinking of, Professor, is like as not to earn me a “Knock it off!” as opposed to the desired reaction. With that said, the drink does have a bitter finish to it — but who isn’t bitter every now and again?

        • What’s with that, anyway? You’d think they’d like the bees.

  5. I had a similar, if not identical, drink at City Winery in Chicago. They called it a Pink Line, after one of the L lines that run nearby. I would have had several more if I hadn’t had to go to work the next morning.

    Another great gin drink I had at a local restaurant consists of the following ingredients: gin, orange liqueur, absinthe, dry vermouth, and lemon. No idea of the ratios, but probably mostly gin, with hints of the others. I definitely remember the anise flavor of the absinthe lying subtly beneath the aromatics of the gin. The call it the Crybaby, served chilled.

    And you just can’t beat a plain old gin and tonic in the summertime. Try Small’s gin for a unique, and quite tasty, flavor. Definitely don’t garnish with grapefruit (an experiment gone surprisingly, horribly awry).

Comments are closed.