You Don’t Often Get Big Laughs In Traffic Court

I was doing arraignments this morning. The defendant, let’s call him “Mr. Ramos” (even though that’s not his real name), was charged with two counts: speeding, and driving without insurance. He appeared before me wearing a Dallas Cowboys sweatshirt and a blue beanie with a blue-and-silver star on it. He handed his paperwork to the bailiff.

“Mr. Ramos, you’re before me today on two counts, speeding and driving without insurance, on a ticket issued by the California Highway Patrol on July 27, 2007. How do you plead?”

“Your honor,” the bailiff said, “the defendant has presented the court with a certificate of insurance that was in effect from July 1, 2007 through July 1, 2008.”

“Okay,” I said. “It appearing that you had insurance in effect on the date of the violation, Mr. Ramos, I’ll dismiss the second count against you. This despite the fact that you are obviously a Cowboys fan, and the Court happens to favor the Green Bay Packers.” Even Mr. Ramos laughed at that.

He pled “no contest” to the speeding charge.

Burt Likko

Pseudonymous Portlander. Homebrewer. Atheist. Recovering litigator. Recovering Republican. Recovering Catholic. Recovering divorcé. Recovering Former Editor-in-Chief of Ordinary Times. House Likko's Words: Scite Verum. Colite Iusticia. Vivere Con Gaudium.